Falling into place

I cannot even begin to describe the weekend I have just experienced. I think I could talk about it step by step, but it would never capture the true meaning of it all. Let’s just say I was given a gift this weekend worth more than anything I could have ever imagined. I was given a chance to discover my soul-mate.

Yes, to many, that statement sounds utterly ridiculous. But I know in my heart that it is truth. Complete truth. Perfect TRUTH. Paul, the “wee lil guy,” the young 18 year old I met at church back in August and just now got a chance to truly get to know him, is my soul-mate and we have fallen completely head over heels for each other. And the awesome part of this news is that WE did not do anything to make it happen. It was GOD. All God. When it’s God, it’s easy…it’s effortless.

Paul and I spent a total of 22+ hours talking to one another from Thursday-Sunday..all in person. Over this time-span, we not only learned more about each other, we learned that God had wired us for one another. We did not have to create anything because it was already there, our hearts waiting for one another’s chance meeting. He grew up in that church and longed for the day when his one and only would walk through that door. As he grew weary and was feeling somewhat discouraged, he dove into serving. Since the age of 6 years old, he worked in the TV department and has recently became the head of the department. What my mom saw on TV that wonderful morning was because of Paul’s service and his loyal heart to God. If my mom never saw Pastor David that morning on TV, we would never be members of Faith Church and I would have never met Paul. If I wasn’t wearing my silver shoes that another girl had as well that “made our feet smell,” I would have never met Morgan who then would have never introduced me to Paul back in August. It all falls into place. All the pieces are coming together.

If I listed all of the qualities I have longed for in a man right now, Paul would exceed all of them. He is everything I have ever wanted. He is all I have ever dreamed of, prayed for, hoped for. He is that true love I always searched for. The problem was the searching and the solution was surrendering my life to God. One week ago, I let go of so much pain and frustration that I had been holding onto for so many years. The very same night I did that, Paul asked me for my number and the rest is history. So much rests in your faithfulness towards God. If you listen and patiently wait, He will bring it all to you. Not in your time, but in His time. 7 days. He created the world in 7 days. We’ll never be able to wrap our heads around that concept. But I’ll just continue to praise Him because of that.

I don’t know what lies ahead of me, but I do know I will remain in faith. I will forever be a servant for God. Since last night, the idea of pursuing my dreams and having Paul in my life has been dancing around my head and weighing heavy on my heart. We both know that God wouldn’t allow us to find each other and then tear us a part. The only known is the unknown and above all, we must remain in faith and KNOW things will all work out even if we cannot fathom HOW they will play out. God is a much better planner than either he or I could ever be and I trust He will pave a way for us to both follow our dreams as individuals and as a couple. I’ve never believed people were made up of half of person and when they found their soul-mate, their “other half,” they were finally complete. I believe God has already made them complete when they allow themselves to have a strong relationship with Him. When two people come together, their union is so strong, NOTHING can break them a part. They come together as two WHOLE individuals with dreams and aspirations and they never stop living their own life, but learn how to share each other’s experiences together. Paul’s dreams become MY dreams and my dreams become PAUL’S dreams because we love one another SO MUCH. This is something I pray will happen for us. I talked to God about all of that this morning and also about why I wanted to be an actress. Since reading Purpose Driven Life, I’ve been figuring out more and more about my calling. God spoke to my heart this morning that calmed my worries. He told me:

Emily, I have given you your talents and abilities for a reason. You are not supposed to hide those talents from anyone or use them for personal pleasure or gain. You are supposed to share them with the world. You must learn how to serve in the church because it is very important to me, but most importantly, you are to serve in the world. You must be the light in all of the darkness. And Hollywood and Broadway are contaminated with evil and darkness. I want you to spread the news that they are not alone and that they no longer have to endure suffering and pain. And that there is a way…Jesus. I want you to be my strong Christian actress. You know that you are not OF this world, but I do ask you to live IN it. That is why you are here…I ask you to GO UNTO THE WORLD and share my message. The Bible says, "Go unto the world and preach the Gospel to every creature, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Teaching them to observe all things and lo. I am with you always unto the end of the world."(Mathew 28: 19-20). Tell them about me. Share your talents that I have blessed you with. Not just your performing talents, but your heart, soul, and mind. Share with them who I have molded you into. Use your acting abilities to bring peace in their hearts. That they are not alone in this world. That they have brothers and sisters in the Lord who fall down just as they do. You will know what projects to choose because I will send them your way. You will know what projects go against your heart and morals. You will take what is going on in the world and know how to make change. You will bring hope and peace to so many hurting people. You are only one person, but each heart that you change matters to me.

I ask you to stay here in St. Louis to practice this difficult task. You are in preparation here. You will know when it is time to move to the next level. It’s going to seem very difficult and frightening to leave all that you have grown to know and love, but I have blessed you with very supportive friends and family members who will be there to hold you up when you are too tired or doubtful that this is your purpose. And you always have me. Because of that, I make it seem effortless. Most recently, I have sent Paul to you because He will be that strong masculine figure you’ve been asking for. He will prove to you that all the pain you’ve endured with men in your past no longer has to exist in your future. But remember to enjoy the present with him. Both of you will be so excited for things to come because I have given you the gift of certainty with this relationship. Don’t let that certainty overpower all the rest of your uncertainty that I ask you to take the time to pray over. I don’t want you to know all of the answers right away because I want you to look to me for the answers. And I do know them. You just need to be patient and listen.

Paul IS your soul-mate, Emily. You know this in your heart. He is everything you’ve been asking for, everything you’ve been hoping for, everything that you’ve been praying for. This is a gift I have given you because you have chosen to listen to me. You heard me ask you to stay. There are many gifts I have given you so far and many to come because of this decision. But Paul is something I know you’ve wanted your entire life. Something much bigger than a successful career or financial freedom. He is your one, true love. The true love you’ve asked me for time and time again. He will be by your side while you are in preparation here in the Midwest and by your side wherever I ask you to go. He will be another support for you because he truly believes I have placed this dream in your heart. Your passion for the talents I have given you and this dream will mean so much more because you now have a partner to experience it all with. Your relationship will blossom into something you cannot even imagine yet. It feels utterly amazing now and words will never be able to describe what it will be. I know you have a big heart full of love and you will love him unconditionally until the end of time. He will forever give you the same in return.

So REJOICE, REJOICE and be exceedingly glad! This is a time to tell the world about me and about what I have given you. Share your story: your struggles, your hardships, your pain…but most importantly, share your blessings. Let others know that it can happen if they are joyful, patient, obedient servants. Thank you for continuing to grow in Christ. And thank you for listening. You will never regret it.

I love you more than you will ever know.