Always on my heart.

So sometimes when I least expect it, I hear God's still voice. A lot of times it's when I'm in the shower or in the bathroom at all. I wonder why that is...maybe it's because there aren't any distractions in there and whatever activities are done in there are pretty basic and second-nature. Too personal? Oh well, we all poop and take showers. Get over it. :)

If anyone knows me they know I'm extremely driven and goal-oriented. This is tough for a Christian because we are taught to surrender our lives to Christ and to let God have the pen to our life-story. When things aren't going the way I would like them to, it's really tough not to fight God for the pen or find my own pen and become a CO-AUTHOR with God. That's just silly to even TRY to compare myself to such a master writer. Something that I really enjoy about God's presence in my life is when He puts a goal in my heart and He sends me mental pictures of what they look like. Not to sound conceited, but I see myself walking down the red carpet at award shows and later giving that infamous speech that I've practiced every time I watch the Emmy's, Oscar's, Tony's, Grammy's, etc on the TV. I see myself belting it out behind the footlights on the stage at the August Wilson Theater on Broadway. I see my face and my bio on the back of my latest novel in Borders. I see me in the recording studio with the headphones singing the Lord's praises on my up and coming Praise and Worship album. It may sound crazy...but He would not give you talents and abilities and not let you use them to your fullest potential! So remember that.

With that said, one of my biggest goals and dream is to become a successful actress of both stage and screen. I've been planning my move to LA for over a year now. One of my obstacles to reach this objective was school. I tackled that one when I graduated in May from SIUE with my BA in Theater and Dance. Awesome! Now onto the next obstacle...MONEY! You need money and a lot of it if you want to be successful in a new city. Especially a big city like Los Angeles. And this obstacle has been kickin my butt since the end of August. God has provided for my basic needs and a little more, but so far, I have not found a solid job to go beyond my basic needs and save all the money it'll take to start a new life in LA.

God said this to me today: "Emily, I made you a very talented and driven YOUNG (youthful looking) woman and I will bring so much success to your life that you will never have to depend on anyone [especially a man] but me. You will have all of your needs met and more. So much so that you will be able to provide for your family and give back to them all that they have given you and more. You will be able to give back to your community and your church family. You will have more than enough. Your life will be overflowing with success and you will live your life in abundance! Because of your youthful looks, it won't matter how long it takes you to reach that success in your acting career. Time is not running out for you. In fact, as you age, you will understand your craft more because of your maturity and life experiences that I have allowed to happen to you. You will continue to learn and grow from every fall and every step that you take."

Wow.

If that doesn't make you feel good, I don't know what does! That's how much our God loves us. He will take care of you! Don't compare your path with anyone else ever again. Your path will be so utterly unique and colorful. Because of that you will find so many rewards in life.

When I allowed myself to let all of that sink in, I realized that there is no rush anymore. I actually ENJOY what's happening right now, right now in front of me. Maybe there is a HUGE reason God is asking me to stay here in IL. And I won't know what it is until it happens or I'm happily living life in LA and I can look back and be glad I stayed. It could be one BIG thing or it could be so many small things that add up to a wonderful life. I can make a list right now of all the things that have happened to me and they all make me really excited to see what else is to come. With all the good, the enemy continues to throw all the bad my way. I keep knocking it down with my faith in our Creator.

I discuss my faith on here because it's very important to me and right now it's what I depend on to get through these difficult times. There's not a day that goes by that I do not link what's happening in my life with God's grace. I express it through my words to shred some light on my issues and maybe to help someone else get through their own struggles.

I'm in a good mood despite all the hardships going on right now. I guess the good mood has a lot to do about feeling protected by my heavenly Father. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it.

I love you all. You're all precious to me.