I really can't remember where I was when I first heard this song, but I do remember it was in high school. Pastor David said something the other night that made me wake up. This song came to mind.
"Hands And Feet" by Audio Adrenaline
"Hands And Feet" by Audio Adrenaline
An image flashed across my TV screen
Another broken heart comes in to view
I saw the pain and I turned my back
Why can't I do the things I want to?
I'm willing yet I'm so afraid
You give me strength
When I say
[CHORUS:]
I want to be your hands
I want to be your feet
I'll go where you send me
I'II go where you send me
[REPEAT]
And I try, yeah I try
To touch the world likeYou touched my life
And I find my way
To be your hands
I've abandoned every selfish thought
I've surrendered every thing I've got
You can have everything I am
And perfect everything
I'm not I'm willing,
I'm not afraid
You give me strength When I say
[CHORUS]
This is the lifetime I turned my back on you
From now on, I'll go so
Send me where You want me to
I finally have a mission
I promise I'll complete
I don't need excuses
When I am your hands and feet
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NeacJatGW8)
Now , after I think about these lyrics and I hear other words from certain people in my life, I finally understand what it means to "live your life for God and not yourself." I was telling this woman today about my life situation: I'm trying to move to LA in 5 months and I recently lost my job. After I lost my nanny job, I was asking God if He was trying to keep me here in St. Louis longer. And that has been my question for these past 2 weeks. Yes, I have faith that God will provide me with a wonderful job, but will I be forcing it all if I'm scrambling to save the money and not have a life in the meantime because I cannot afford to go anywhere but to my job? Peter Cocuzza told me to ask myself why I would want to post-pone this move. "Do not make this decision because of fear," he said. And this decision isn't founded in fear, it's founded in a quest for something more meaningful than my own desires and dreams. I have so many amazing opportunities arising every day with this new church and I keep thinking...how can I do any of these things if I am only here for 5 more months? This woman that I was talking to today is in charge of the youth at the church. She has been writing these dramas in hopes of someday having a chance to perform them, but there is a lack of performers. She heard I was an actress and her face just lit up. On top of that, I'm hearing God tell me to start a mentor program with the young girls in the youth group. They want me sing with the praise and worship band and perform in the Christmas and Easter Programs, and when they all hear that I'm moving in January, they get so bummed....and so do I.
I am finally finding myself and I don't know if I can move 1800 miles away in 5 months only to start looking for "Emily" all over again. This church makes me feel at peace. It strengthens my faith and it feels like home to me.
I spoke to this woman about my situation and she simply said, "When it's God, it's easy. You shouldn't have to work that hard if it's meant to be. And you know, you've been the center of your own story for so long, and now God is asking you to be at the center of His story." This hit me so hard and made me truly listen to what she was telling me. The mere fact that I had never said more than 2 words to this woman before, and she opened my eyes and ears to God's requests was absolutely heaven-sent. He really does send us angels to set us straight.
So all of this has given me more to think about and pray over. Will I be moving to LA? Yes. But will I be moving to LA in 5 months? Only God knows this right now. So if you could, please pray for me while I'm figuring out what God wants me to do and where He needs me the most.
I'm reminded of another song:
"Take me" by Daniel's Window
I saw the mountain side
I saw the mountain side
And I said, “It’s too high to climb”
I felt the pouring rain
I felt the pouring rain
And I know I’ll never be the same
I humbly come before you with my head bowed and my knees bent
My soul is drowning in this sea of doubt
I need You to hold me tonight
Take me Break me
show me what to do
Take me Shape me
teach me to be like you
I heard a silent cry
I heard a silent cry
And it came from deep inside
Take me Break me
show me what to do
Take me Shape me
teach me to be like you
I saw the mountain side
I saw the mountain side I saw the mountain side
And I know I can climb that high
Take me Break me
show me what to do
Take me Shape me
teach me to be like you
Peace, Love, and Joy.
Now , after I think about these lyrics and I hear other words from certain people in my life, I finally understand what it means to "live your life for God and not yourself." I was telling this woman today about my life situation: I'm trying to move to LA in 5 months and I recently lost my job. After I lost my nanny job, I was asking God if He was trying to keep me here in St. Louis longer. And that has been my question for these past 2 weeks. Yes, I have faith that God will provide me with a wonderful job, but will I be forcing it all if I'm scrambling to save the money and not have a life in the meantime because I cannot afford to go anywhere but to my job? Peter Cocuzza told me to ask myself why I would want to post-pone this move. "Do not make this decision because of fear," he said. And this decision isn't founded in fear, it's founded in a quest for something more meaningful than my own desires and dreams. I have so many amazing opportunities arising every day with this new church and I keep thinking...how can I do any of these things if I am only here for 5 more months? This woman that I was talking to today is in charge of the youth at the church. She has been writing these dramas in hopes of someday having a chance to perform them, but there is a lack of performers. She heard I was an actress and her face just lit up. On top of that, I'm hearing God tell me to start a mentor program with the young girls in the youth group. They want me sing with the praise and worship band and perform in the Christmas and Easter Programs, and when they all hear that I'm moving in January, they get so bummed....and so do I.
I am finally finding myself and I don't know if I can move 1800 miles away in 5 months only to start looking for "Emily" all over again. This church makes me feel at peace. It strengthens my faith and it feels like home to me.
I spoke to this woman about my situation and she simply said, "When it's God, it's easy. You shouldn't have to work that hard if it's meant to be. And you know, you've been the center of your own story for so long, and now God is asking you to be at the center of His story." This hit me so hard and made me truly listen to what she was telling me. The mere fact that I had never said more than 2 words to this woman before, and she opened my eyes and ears to God's requests was absolutely heaven-sent. He really does send us angels to set us straight.
So all of this has given me more to think about and pray over. Will I be moving to LA? Yes. But will I be moving to LA in 5 months? Only God knows this right now. So if you could, please pray for me while I'm figuring out what God wants me to do and where He needs me the most.
I'm reminded of another song:
"Take me" by Daniel's Window
I saw the mountain side
I saw the mountain side
And I said, “It’s too high to climb”
I felt the pouring rain
I felt the pouring rain
And I know I’ll never be the same
I humbly come before you with my head bowed and my knees bent
My soul is drowning in this sea of doubt
I need You to hold me tonight
Take me Break me
show me what to do
Take me Shape me
teach me to be like you
I heard a silent cry
I heard a silent cry
And it came from deep inside
Take me Break me
show me what to do
Take me Shape me
teach me to be like you
I saw the mountain side
I saw the mountain side I saw the mountain side
And I know I can climb that high
Take me Break me
show me what to do
Take me Shape me
teach me to be like you
Peace, Love, and Joy.
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