The Call.

As Christians, we are called to walk on this earth as Jesus walked on this earth, and in an even greater way (see John 14:12). He came down from heaven, wrapped Himself in humanity, and left His thrown to bring His glory down so that all men may learn to walk as He did and help bring more people into His Kingdom. He died on the cross, took the keys to death, hell, and the grave, rose again, and ascended into heaven back to His thrown where is making constant intercession for us as our High Priest. But He didn’t leave us alone; He made sure that we had the same power that conquered the grave within us and gave us the Holy Spirit to help us walk as He did. In addition to being the Son of God, Jesus walked this earth as a Healer, as a Deliverer, as a Teacher, as a Servant King, as a Priest, as a Shepherd, and as a great Friend to all.

When we become born-again believers, we begin to feel a stirring within us to love Jesus and love people like He did. We are able to love because He first loved us, as 1 John 4:19 tells us in the Bible. In Him, everything is possible because He is love and love never fails.

Although I called upon the Lord Jesus as my personal Savior, acknowledging that He died on the cross to wash away my sins, when I was 16, I have really only been a serious and active born-again believer for the last five years of my life. I have been through a tremendous transformation over the course of those five years (you can learn more about that in my book The Vessel: From Marred to Honorable, which will hopefully be available in Winter 2014), and it was just within the last year that I truly started to understand my purpose and calling and how the Lord wanted me to walk out that purpose in the earth.

As believers, we all have the same calling, but many different talents and gifts that we can use to walk out that calling. We are all called to love the Lord God with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength and love others as we want to be loved, not so that they can feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but so that they can meet the Man, Love Himself, face to face and come into a relationship with the Father through Him. When we acknowledge what Jesus did for us on the cross, He gives us the right to be called children of God. That means you are a son or a daughter of the Most High God! God loves family because He is the One who created it; He wants us all to be a part of His family not only here on earth but in heaven for eternity. Our job as Christians is to tell others about this awesome truth, even other Christians who may not know! The earth is longing for the sons and daughters of God to be revealed, meaning, we receive the revelation that we are God’s children and we begin to take dominion and authority that the devil has tried so desperately to completely steal from us! But He has already been defeated! Praise God!
Now back to what I had mentioned before, we all have different talents and gifts that God has given us to reach and draw people into His Kingdom. That is where the creativity of the Creator comes into play. All of us are completely unique in our personality, character, behavior, abilities, finances, influence, etc. To try to copy and imitate anyone else is cheating yourself of God’s awesome creativity to be activated in your life. Be who God has created you to be and don’t try to put yourself in a box!

With that said, I believe there are three ways we can fulfill our calling and purpose to love God with our heart, mind, soul, and strength and love others how we want to be loved:

1.      Worship God

2.      Edify the Body

3.      Reach the Lost

Within those three ways that we fulfill our calling, we use our unique personality, character, behavior, abilities, finances, influence, etc exactly how God is asking us to. None of those three ways are more important than the other. In other words, if God is asking you to fulfill the call as a Pastor/Teacher, it doesn’t mean that He views how you grow the Kingdom by edifying the Body more important than how a born-again business man reaches the lost by telling his unsaved co-workers about how Jesus changed his life and how Jesus will do the same for them. Or that God views a teenager reaching the lost by leading a fellow student through the prayer of salvation more important than a young couple edifying the Body by leading a Bible study at their college and career discipleship group at their church. Whether saved or unsaved, you are reaching people and drawing people closer (by Jesus being lifted up in our own lives) into the Kingdom of God.

Yet, we can’t reach anyone or draw anyone if we are not worshipping God with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength. Worship isn’t confined to music and singing, or dancing, or painting, or the first 30 minutes of our church services. Worship is a lifestyle of loving God by choosing to say “yes” to God and “no” to our own selfish desires daily. Through acts of constant obedience, we are giving God worth and valuing His will over our own. When we worship God, He pours into us and then asks us to in turn pour out to others around us, again, saved and unsaved alike. Every single soul is important to Father God and He always desires more of us, whether we know Him and have been a Christian for 50 years, 5 minutes, or do not know Him at all and still need to acknowledge Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

Jesus didn’t tell us to go and make converts; He told us to go and make disciples. If you are a Christian, and want to reach the lost, don’t just stop at leading them through the prayer of salvation, continue ministering until they are a part of the Body of Christ, in which they will continue to grow closer into the Kingdom by being edified by possibly someone else who is supposed to use their gift of teaching and encouragement to disciple and watch them mature and grow into who God has created them to be in His family. And please, don’t forget to live a life of constant worship through obedience to the Father. He will pour into you, as you pour out. Live, move, and have your being in that overflow.

Amen.

Salt and Light

Do You Know WHO'S You Are?

Here are my notes to the message I taught on 1/13/2013 at CORE...

The world seeks to find a label for you from the moment you are born. Society wants to categorize you and put you into a box with everyone else like you. But God has created you with His own hands and has called you to NOT be like everyone else.

He told Jeremiah:

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah  1:5, NIV)

SCHOOL:

Growing up, you are labeled as a daughter, a son, a brother or a sister, the youngest child, the oldest child, the only child, or the baby. All centered around being a part of a family, which is how God sees us, being a part of His family. But once you are in school, for many of us, this is where we step foot into the world’s system and the world’s categories. You are labeled as your grade, or you are smart, advanced, dumb, slow or if you didn’t go to public school, you have an entirely different category…home-schooled. And everyone in public school thinks you’re weird. Once in high school, you are then put into more categories regarding your personality and what you do: athlete/jock, cheerleader, math-geek, drama geeks, band nerds, stoners, partiers, rich kids, poor kids, etc.

YOUR CAREER:

And on top of all of that, your entire time spent in the education institution you are trying to figure out who you will be when you grow up. Your whole life existence from that point is founded on one thing, your career. And as we know, we are NOT our job position.

  

Those who try to find their identity in what they do will always be searching for their ultimate purpose and will never find fulfillment in life.

WHY?

Because there is only one position that will ever give you a sense of purpose.

You are a child of God! You are His!

When you receive Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, you are then ADOPTED into the family of God. But many of us continue to look for purpose on our walk with God, working to achieve His love, instead of just trusting in it.

  

John 1:12-13 (NKJV) says:

Speaking of Jesus, “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”

READ GALATIANS 3:26-4:1-7

WE ARE HEIRS OF GOD!!!!! WE ARE ROYALTY!!!!

Our God is King of Kings and Lord of Lords and we are called sons of God because of our FAITH IN CHRIST!

ADOPTION in Greek “huiothesia”=adoption as sons, sonship; in NT culture a son received greater inheritance and honor, but in Christ men and women inherit equally.

We must walk in the Spirit (which means praying, listening, and remaining fully obedient to the Father at all times) to use our faith and denounce any kind of worldly mentality which will only bring bondage (ROMANS 8:1-9;12-17).

When we make a decision based upon our flesh, it is going to eventually end in death because our flesh eventually dies. But if we make a decision based upon God’s Spirit and in Jesus, it will be eternal because in Jesus, there’s life eternally and NO CONDEMNATION.

“…our acceptance with God has to do with nothing but faith in Christ. God is very unimpressed with your performance, but He is deeply impressed with Christ’s performance. When you put childlike faith in Christ, Christ’s performance record is credited to you. Faith in Christ unlocks the Father’s heart to you. When you believe on His beloved Son, the Father’s heart explodes in affirmation and acceptance and delight-totally independently of your diligence or lack thereof” (The Secrets of the Secret Place, Bob Sorge).

READ MARK 1:9-11 (The Father was pleased with Him even before He did one miracle or went to the cross. He sees our heart and sees the end from the beginning).

You find such freedom when you finally realize you can rest in knowing that Jesus paid for your performance (AND YOU HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN) and by accepting that, God sees you as His daughter or son. You are so loved by the Father. Nothing will be able to change that. (ROMANS 8:38-39) He will always love you, but He doesn’t always agree with the decisions you have made in your life outside of His best (His will). That’s why we must seek Him for direction, so we remain in His will.

When we fully understand God’s love for us and that we BELONG to Him as a daughter or a son, everything in us wants to love Him back with all that we have. Suddenly we find ourselves longing to be with Him all the time and be obedient to all that He asks of us. We long to sit at His feet and gaze into His eyes and hear His voice. Our prayer life is not seen as a chore but as a privilege. We are privileged to be a child of God in the earth and do His will every day wherever He sends us. The earth is longing for us to reveal Him. (ROMANS 8:18-19)

THE SUFFERING CAN’T BE COMPARED

TO THE GLORY THAT’LL BE REVEALED

CREATION EAGERLY AWAITS AND GROANS

FOR THE SONS OF GOD TO BE REVEALED

ARISE, ARISE!

MAY THE SONS OF GOD ARISE!

ARISE, ARISE!

MAY GOD’S GLORY BE REVEALED

HABAKKUK 2:14 For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea. (NIV)

We will reveal God’s glory by standing up as an army of the sons and daughters of the Living God proclaiming His love for the whole world and explaining how He sent Jesus to die for them-the gospel! How will they know if we don’t fully grasp that we have been given the RIGHT to become the sons and daughters of God? The harvest is great, but the laborers are few because many don’t know that they don’t have to strive or work for their position as a son or daughter of God. They just have to believe and walk in it. Father God, through Jesus, would never give us a command to “go into all the world and preach the gospel” and not give us help. HE DID! We have the Holy Spirit…another amazing gift from above! (Luke 11:9-13)

So what are you believing for? What are you asking for? Are you coming to the Father boldly as a son or daughter? Or do you still see God as a dog-trainer somewhere up in heaven just waiting to punish you for your wrong? Remember, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Step into your position NOW as a daughter or son of the Most High God. He’s waiting for you with open arms ready to tell you how much He loves you and how proud He is of you for running this race for Him. Running without time alone with God is the work of a slave and we aren’t slaves, we are His children! Knowing this will fuel you to go out and tell the world about Jesus! You are His beloved child in whom He is well pleased. Trust in that. Trust in Jesus. Trust in His love. 

Peace&Love.

Emily

Created to Worship

Did you know that everyone was created to worship?

YEP.

Worship is giving something or someone worth. It is what you devote your time, your devotion, your affection, your finances, your heart to. If you allow yourself to really reflect on this, you will know in your heart where all of those things in your life are going to.

If you worship anyone or anything besides God Almighty, the Bible calls those people or those things idols. And when it comes to God, He doesn't want you to give yourself away to anything or anyone but Him. He's not egotistical or prideful, He just loves us SO MUCH and wants us to see the world and people like He does. Worshiping God creates an atmosphere in our hearts that is conducive to letting God mold us into His image. It becomes a breeding ground for selfless love to be produced in us.

2 Samuel 16:7 says:
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (NIV)

When we allow the Lord to mold us and change our hearts, we will be able to love others with the Father's love.

In prayer one day, the Lord dropped this song down into my heart:

Cultivate the ground of my heart

Til it yields a harvest of lasting fruit

For Your purpose

For Your plan...

How does God cultivate the ground of your heart?

By worship.

By worshipping God Almighty and surrendering your life completely to Him. And worship is not just singing to the Lord (although that's important). It is denying yourself and saying "yes" to Him every single day of your life. From seeking Him in prayer or telling a stranger that God loves them by praying with them or giving them a hug, every "yes" to God is worship. When we love God with all that we are, our hearts can't help but overflow with His love for others. 

So it is true. Worship IS a lifestyle. It is constantly telling God "More of You and less of me." EVERY DAY. And every time we obey God and say "yes" to Him, we give Him glory. We give Him worth because He sees us growing up and maturing. Every Father wants to see their children mature and succeed their love walk.

So who or what do you worship? Yourself? Your plans? Your job? Money? Nice clothes? Everything in this world will pass away, except for Love. Let God speak to your heart today and see if there are areas in your life that you are holding back from Him. The more we say "yes" to God, the more He can molds our hearts and they will overflow with His perfect Love. 

Give God worth today. Even in the little things. :)

Peace&Love.

Emily

The Blood Speaks

I thoroughly enjoy reading in the book of Hebrews. Tonight these few verses captivated my attention:

"But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are registered in heaven, to God the Judge of all, to the spirits of just men made perfect, to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel. See that you do not refuse Him who speaks." ~Hebrews 12:22-25 (NKJV)

Then my attention was brought to this verse in Genesis:
"The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground." ~Genesis 4:10 (NIV)

Then these lyrics popped into my head:

NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD 

BY: MATT REDMAN

Your blood speaks a better word

Than all the empty claims I've heard upon this earth

Speaks righteousness for me

And stands in my defense

Jesus it's Your blood

I'm just saying, something went off in me when I read that scripture in Hebrews. I have read that passage many times before, but tonight verse 24 just gripped me and I couldn't stop meditating on it.

Jesus' blood speaks... 

just as in Genesis 4 tells us that Abel's blood was heard crying out to God from the ground after Cain murdered him. 

Jesus' blood speaks on our behalf. It stands in our defense. The Father not only SEES us covered in the blood of His Son, but He HEARS us in the blood of His Son. When we are covered in His blood, God hears the voice of our "Mediator" (vs 24). Our prayers and our cries are filtered through Christ's blood. God responds because of the powerful sound that Jesus' blood makes. When we are in Christ, the Father hears our every word and it is righteous to God because Jesus is our righteousness. 

I will leave you with this tonight:

"Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."~John 14:6 (ESV)

When we enter through Christ, God sees us and hears us every time and He is faithful to answer our prayer. Let Christ speak for you and do not refuse Him who speaks.

Hello 2011!

So here we are....a new year and a new season in the Massey home.

Guess it's a a new season because I got rid of a lot of things from my past last week. Threw away journals and pictures from messy and dark times in my life. Memories should bring a smile to your face, not make you want to curl up in a ball and cry for days or throw things.

Been considering deleting this blog for awhile as well, but sometimes I feel like it is my one connection to the rest of the internet world. No more facebook or twitter, so what to do?

A lot has gone on since my last blog entry. I've grown and stretched over the last few months. Discovered life by losing it (Matthew 10:39). Actually, not much is left of "my plan" at all...and I have never been happier. Such a simple statement from Jesus, yet it is probably the most impossible for us to accomplish.

Every day I attempt to "die to myself" and ask God what He wants me to do in any given situation. Of course we all fall when we try to do it on our own, but the good news is that you never really are alone. He doesn't "leave you nor forsake you."

November was a month of growth for Paul and I as we began to consistently pray and read the Bible together for the first time in our relationship. It has brought us closer together in so many ways. We also tried small day (2-3 days) fasting to keep our flesh in check. Definitely new to me. Went on a reading frenzy and couldn't stop for about 3 weeks straight. If I wasn't working, eating, or sleeping, I was reading SOMETHING. Got a chance to see Iron and Wine at the Pageant with my friend Lindsay. What an awesome show! Paul and I spent Thanksgiving at my folks' new home out in the country. I thank God for His hand in that one. I'm so happy to know they are out of that old dark and depressing house. Not to get spooky spiritual, but they were definitely not wanted in that home. Evil presence in that house. But now, they are in a new place full of love and angels at every door and window.

December Paul turned the big 2-1...finally! He bought his gun that he has talked about since I first met him and we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary at The Melting Pot and a night at the Millennium Hotel. It was a lovely evening out together. It was fun to get all dolled up for my man. My ability as a worship leader began to surprise me as each service went by. I was in awe and finally realized that I can only be a vessel for Him to use and nothing more. If I did it on my own, I would struggle, but with the Holy Spirit on my side, I get done and can't even stand up. I turned 25 on the 22nd and found out that phone calls/texts from friends get scarce or non-existent when you get older (or it might have something to do with not being on facebook sadly...) Oh well. Christmas went by too fast, as usual. It really was a Christmas full of giving for me, but I did get a nice gift certificate to a spa from my folks. Excited to use it soon! :)

And well, here we are January 2011....sounds sci fi to me. You know, flying cars and whatnot. Too bad it's not the case. It'd be cool though.

Paul and I got a chance to go on a trip to Chattanooga, TN for 3 days with Wrecked Ministries for Winter RAMP. And it was an AH-MAZING way to start off this new year. God moved in a mighty way among 7,000 young world changers. One night we were there: we had been worshiping and interceding for about 3 hours when we felt a shift happen in the room and a young 9 year old boy stood up out of his wheelchair (one that was built for him) and walked. The entire room went crazy. I have never prayed, danced, or cried out to God that hard in my entire life. It was a life-changing experience to say the least. Since January 1st, I have made some big commitments to God dealing with my walk with Him and He has shown Himself faithful to me in many ways. The anointing upon our worship team has been absolutely awesome and God shows up every single time. I am oh so excited to see where He takes this ministry. We are reaching out to the city of St. Louis in hopes of changing lives for Jesus. So far, it has been worth every second of prayer and service to Him.

Hopefully there will be more from me more frequently this year. I don't know why I have strayed away from writing over this past year. Maybe I have been trying to keep the focus off of myself...probably the reason I deleted my twitter and facebook. I don't want people to focus on me. I want them to see Him through me. So if this is why I am writing, then let them see Him through me and the story I continually ask Him to direct for me.

Soon I will tell a story about some lessons God taught me last week regarding my desire to write a book on my life. It was cool what I heard down in my heart. Oh so cool...

But any hoo hoo....back to my hubs on the couch.

Peace&love.

Chillaxin'

Mmmm....new Ray LaMontagne album. Perfect for chillaxin' this Friday night.

Just waiting for Paulie to get home from his FIFTEEN HOUR DAY! Yeah, he's my Superman most definitely. 12 hours in over-time this week. That's 12 hours times time and a half. Woot woot. Favor and blessing! Praise God. 2010 is absolutely NOTHING like 2009. It's been an Ephesians's 3:20 year most definitely.

Had a great time getting to know a new gal friend today/tonight. Our late lunch began at 3:30pm and I didn't drop her off to her car until 9:45pm! Guess we have things in common! lol We walked around the Loop in STL and tried on some cute clothes at their awesome boutiques. Just girlie stuff. And I loved it!

It's always fun to get to know new people. Definitely feel like God is trying to build up new friendships for this new season in my/our life. Her boyfriend is very similar to Paulie too, so that will make for fun double dates! Love it!!! :)

Anyway, Paulie got home and now it's cuddle time.

Happy girl...

Peace&Love.

Em

God's been dealin' with me...

Last week was rough.

Rough mentally, spiritually, physically.

Just plain rough.

The week started off great: Paul and I BOTH got off of work early and got some amazing quality time together. Just being goofy with each other and loving every minute!

But then Tuesday hit. Ugh. Traffic was horrible going into work and leaving. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. Paul was already home and because of a stupid bill that I wasn't expecting, I got upset and fast. I wanted to do nothing but run. Physically run. So before I could even greet Paul, I rushed to put on my work out clothes and get ready to run through the tears. Didn't know why I was so upset. It wasn't my hormones. I just was burn out I guess.

And then when I thought things would get better because it was a new day, a trainwreck happened mid-movie time with Paul Wednesday night.

You see, there's a time in my life that Paul knows little about. He's heard stories, mostly negative (because I was bitter), and seen pictures. But his opinion of this time in my life is solely based on those things because he didn't know me at this time in my life. It's hard for my re-newed mind to grasp things of my past. It's like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. It just doesn't fit any more. I found out that a local theatre company is producing a favorite show of mine (a show that I've done before) and I freaked! Something deep down inside me wanted this opportunity again. I knew from experience, Paul has a hard time understanding this part of my life. So I bi-passed him and called my mom. Bad call, but I wanted validation! I was going to do this show even if it cost me precious time with Paul!


I was getting myself deeper in a big ol' mess and I didn't seem to see it!

I see it now.

I was being selfish. I wasn't thinking about how my decision would affect someone else's life. We barely get to see each other as it is. I said some hurtful things to him as I was fighting to hold onto MY wants and MY desires. Also, I was comparing a person to a thing. God blessed me with a relationship...a MARRIAGE...something I never had when I did theatre. Mostly because it's hard to balance them at the same time and still come out with a healthy marriage and feel satisfied in other aspects of your life because they take SO MUCH TIME. I look back on it now and see how I let shows fill a void in my heart. I sought out happiness from something that could only bring me that for a short period of time. Happiness is temporary because it is based on what HAPPENS. Joy is something that exists inside you and you can't explain why you are so blessed or full of life. I used my hyper-involvement in theatre as a means for an escape from my pain and loneliness. I'm not lonely or hurting any longer. Praise God!

To ignore the talents God gave me would be a sin, but I have yet to stop using them since I've stopped performing in plays and musicals. I've done numerous dramas and I am one of praise team members at Faith Church! My feet have yet to leave the stage. God never took it away from me. He just shut some doors that He knew weren't good for me anymore. He shut the door to my involvement in theatre by decreasing my passion for it. And for some, that would be a horrible thing. But for me, it needed to happen. I was so obsessed with it, that I didn't have time for God or anyone or anything else. And let's not forget about my PRIDE issue. Whew, I was full of myself...


I figured if God wants me to go back to the secular stage, He will make it blatantly obvious. I thought that this last interest was it, but that was based on past experiences and it ended up creating a wall between Paul and I. How could I allow that to happen to the biggest blessing God has given me?

I can't and I won't.

So God has been dealing with me about selfishness. I found an article on Boundless.org (a Focus on the Family website) entitled "The Shock to Our Selfishness" by Heather Koerner. Heather writes about how the shock to our selfishness is initiated by marriage itself. God is asking us to put aside our needs and wants to make room to focuse on others' needs/wants. The blessing that comes from that kind of lifestyle is amazing.

Still workin' on it...

Peace&Love.

My heart grows soft...

I've been listening to a lot of Christian music lately. Luckily St. Louis is getting a stronger signal for Joy FM and it will soon reach 2.7 million people on 99.1 (the classical station we now know of). But I realized how God will speak to you through the lyrics of these songs. I find the Fireproof soundtrack hits home more often than not. "Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield and "The Words that I would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets are two that bring a tear to my eye everytime I hear them.

I can see God using this music to keep my heart tender. Tender towards myself, towards strangers, tender towards situations that are out of my control...

And boy do I need it!

I find myself getting really tense and on defense-mode when my hormones decide to go crazy once a month. I know every woman deals with this on many levels, but we should have some control over how we react when that time comes. This has been my biggest challenge the past few years. I've gotten much better over the past year. Not as many panic attacks or 'freak out' moments. That's good right? :) Not to say that I'm not tempted to go that direction. Believe me, there are some folks I come into contact that test my patience more than I would like.

But again, it's this music that I listen to on a daily basis that keeps my heart and head in check. And I find myself needing it more than before. I hear God asking me to "relax" and to stop thinking about the things that have gone WRONG and look for what is going RIGHT. To stop judging my progress with those around me. And the training that I received had me doing that ALL THE TIME! How can I be better than my competition? This is my "type"...how can I stand out above all of them and look more beautiful, be more talented? And then I try to understand why I'm comparing myself to everyone all the time. My degree forced me to do that every day. *Sigh*

Any way, I'm not my degree. I'm Emily. Made in God's image. That's it.

Peace&Love.

Brrrr....it's cold!

It's quite nippy outside, isn't it? (said with a cockny/British accent of course) haha.

I came into work this morning and froze my everything off because it was like 40 degrees in the office! It's been a nice easy day though and I almost feel like I'm at home catching up on odds and ends, but the cool thing is that I'm getting paid! :) I've got the space heater by my tootsies to try to keep them warm while my frozen fingers type away. As long as something is staying warm on my body, I'm okay.

So good news...Paulie's home! :) I'm going to enjoy this Friday night with him so much! I don't think he has to work in the morning either so this will be our 1ST Saturday that we get to sleep in together!!! 5 weeks of marriage and we finally get to enjoy that. So that's fun.

I can definitely sense the changes in the air with a lot of things in my life: work is getting easier for me (not as stressful), finances are becoming easier to handle, my pride level is at an all-time low lately in regards to singing with the praise team....

Now to discuss this one a bit further...
Because I have ALWAYS performed in front of people, I soaked up that applause like no one's business. Not to bring the glory to God, but to myself. This was a HUGE obstacle for me in 2009. HUGE. I got upset time and time again at rehearsals for the youth band or the Praise team because "I wasn't being noticed or recognized" for my ability. But it's taken so many prayers and time with God to get Him to break that off of me. "Take me, break me...show me what to do...Take me, shape me...teach me to be like You." (Daniel's Window) became my cry to God. And I'm feeling better about it all.

Last night's rehearsal was AWESOME. We even added 2 new singers to the mix and I was EXCITED about it. Normally I would get upset because I knew that it just meant I had to work even harder to get noticed. But it's not a competition. God hears everyone's voice, and He's not just interested in our voices, but our HEARTS. He can tell when you're faking it. When you're looking for the glory instead. And I pray all the time to be humbled. It's the most challenging thing I've ever had to deal with. The world teaches us to seek fame and fortune. How many actors/performers/singers/musicians dream of that day when they can give their acceptance speech at the Grammy's/Oscar's/Tony's/Emmy's? I know I talked about it many times on here. Many many many. I wanted to be noticed for the gifts God blessed me with. And that seemed alright in my eyes...but I wanted the glory, the fame, the attention.

This is my new song...and I believe in EVERY word:
http://popup.lala.com/popup/576742244706842939

It talks about moving out of the way and letting God be seen through you. Becoming invisible so the audience sees Him. We're not supposed to want to out-shine God. We have to let others see His glorious and beautiful light. We are His hands and His feet and somtimes His voice. So if you are struggling with this issue of pride (with any gift God has given you) know that you are not alone. Just ask Him to humble you. Ask Him for help with your pride issues. And you will begin taking the finger off of yourself and pointing people to Him.

Peace and Love.

Have a fantastic weekend. Love you all.

"Close the door, Emily."

"If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want. They must be willing even to give up their lives to follow me.” Matthew 16:24

Yesterday was a day for enlightment from my heavenly Father...chapter 4, I think. Chapter 1 was "Don't Move to LA!" Chapter 2 was "Pursue Your Dream as a Wife." Chapter 3 was "Become a Teacher." But I seemed to misinterpret Chapter 3, I think. I figured that meant "go back to school, get certified to teach speech/theatre, Emily." But that was easy way to become a teacher for the world, not the Lord. Last night I was wrestling with the concept of where theatre fit into my life...the NEW chapter of my life. I realized that when I used to perform (outside of church), I became selfish, prideful, and overly-confident. Getting cast or receiving the compliments and good reviews made me feel good about myself. I always wanted more, but never felt satisfied. When theatre became the center of my life, I pushed God further and further away from my mind. I couldn't see myself teaching other students to seek that kind of self-centeredness and prideful existence. So I thought, "hmm...teaching English suits me better!"

But as I woke up this morning, I had this weird feeling in my stomach about going back to school for another 2 years. "More stress and more debt," I heard. I know that God doesn't want us to get further into debt because He's helping us get out of it by sending me this inheritence. For Paul and I to fiancially work this out, I'd have to work 9-5 and go to school at night until probably 11pm and not get home until midnight and very rarely get to see him or spend time with him at our 2nd home, Faith Church St. Louis. That doesn't sound like God's plan for me at all! So I think this new "enlightened chapter" goes likes this... Chapter 4: "Grow Deeper to Guide My Sheep." I am feeling pulled to teach for the Lord....as a leader in my church's ministry. I don't know how crazy that sounds to people who knew me or know me.

Your dominant gifts are Pastor/Shepherd, Showing Mercy, Administration

The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING! The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church.
As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you.
You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs.
People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale.
Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? This gift is a great help in many areas. You may serve as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor or assistant pastor, bus captain, special ministry leader (such as youth, children, men, etc.), nursery worker or as a half-way house or other type shelter volunteer. You may consider serving as a dormitory leader in a college, orphanage, children's home, etc. Scout troops would appreciate your assistance as a den leader.

I didn't make this decision based solely on this assessment. Actually, I took this assessment back in January when I still thought I was supposed to teach theatre. I took the assessment for my volunteer work at the church and I now realize that my passion for this ministry goes much deeper than just volunteering on Thursdays and Sundays. I want to be a shepardess for the rest of my life. I want to be a TEACHER for the Lord. Teach others about His Grace and Mercy.
I think when I chose God and His blessings along with that decision (Paul, new friends, an awesome church family, and a stronger relationship with my own family), my old involvement in theatre changed. I began to use my talents God blessed me with to praise Him, not myself. I sang for Him, danced for Him, and interpreted for Him through my acting skills. I've felt more accomplished using those gifts at Faith Church than any other place I've performed. And God isn't going to let my degree go to waste. I may have taken those matters into my own hands back in 2005, but He will use it for good. I believe I will continue to sing at Faith Church and praise Him, and I also believe I will eventually direct the dramas along with performing in them if they need me.

So I've never felt more at peace in my entire life. I know this new role I'm supposed to take on will not be happening right away. But I truly believe I will be in preparation for the next 2-3 years. I must grow deeper. I must learn more about God to eventually be able to tell others all about Him. I must learn more about His word. I must want to seek Him even when things get difficult. I believe this is going to be an amazing journey. And I'm ready for the ride!

Peace & Love.

Keepin' the light switch turned ON!

Today's message was really good for my spirit. I needed it.

I'm in such a wonderful place in my life that I realized how content and relaxed I've become with everything. I don't stress or worry my life away. I just be...exist...am. It's a good feeling to feel this much at peace.

But there are always small things that seem to rise up to the surface and the enemy will try to poke holes in your amazing living situation. I grew up with financial strain and it has never really ever disappeared. Yes, I DO have a job now, but that doesn't make money just POOF into my bank account to get rid of my negative balance. It's going to take a little time to get back on track. So I could freak out about my financial situation or just believe that it will all work out in the end. Which is the way I think I'm supposed to live my life....

But it gets really tough sometimes!

I moved out of my alcoholic father's house this weekend to my grandpa's upstairs. I now have my own living space and my shoulders are free from all that weight that I carried every day wondering what I would have to pull my dad out of next. I've chosen to stay here until I move to LA. Gas is going down and I have faith that it will remain this low, so I will save on so much more money because of that. I would be putting so much money into rent for pretty much nothing then. I'm really not that far away from things. I have had to drive 20-30 minutes to get anywhere my whole life, so why couldn't I handle another year of it? I can handle it and I will! :)

This decision is going to help me save so much more money for things that I can't even see yet. An AFTRA contract? (details to follow after this weekend, I promise). Car insurance in my own name for once? A dress (of the white pursuasion)? New clothes that actually fit and don't make me feel fat?

I feel break-through happening. I'm in the midst of it now, and it's just going to keep getting better and better! This is I know for sure! I'm keeping my light switch turned on and the devil is going to have to tackle me to the ground to turn it off!

God spoke something very significant to me this morning at church. I don't want to say too much about it quite yet because I want it to manifest itself before I tell everyone. Let's just say that people from the west coast will see what Miss Emily Rose Mollet is made of this weekend! "There is just something about her...there is just this glow about her that makes me feel really good! I really like this girl! Let's pick her!"

Walk in faith, not by sight!

I WILL see this come to pass and I WILL live out my dreams...just you wait!

It's happening now and I'm thanking Him as every second passes.

I love you all.

Peace.