I've been listening to a lot of Christian music lately. Luckily St. Louis is getting a stronger signal for Joy FM and it will soon reach 2.7 million people on 99.1 (the classical station we now know of). But I realized how God will speak to you through the lyrics of these songs. I find the Fireproof soundtrack hits home more often than not. "Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield and "The Words that I would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets are two that bring a tear to my eye everytime I hear them.
I can see God using this music to keep my heart tender. Tender towards myself, towards strangers, tender towards situations that are out of my control...
And boy do I need it!
I find myself getting really tense and on defense-mode when my hormones decide to go crazy once a month. I know every woman deals with this on many levels, but we should have some control over how we react when that time comes. This has been my biggest challenge the past few years. I've gotten much better over the past year. Not as many panic attacks or 'freak out' moments. That's good right? :) Not to say that I'm not tempted to go that direction. Believe me, there are some folks I come into contact that test my patience more than I would like.
But again, it's this music that I listen to on a daily basis that keeps my heart and head in check. And I find myself needing it more than before. I hear God asking me to "relax" and to stop thinking about the things that have gone WRONG and look for what is going RIGHT. To stop judging my progress with those around me. And the training that I received had me doing that ALL THE TIME! How can I be better than my competition? This is my "type"...how can I stand out above all of them and look more beautiful, be more talented? And then I try to understand why I'm comparing myself to everyone all the time. My degree forced me to do that every day. *Sigh*
Any way, I'm not my degree. I'm Emily. Made in God's image. That's it.
Peace&Love.
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