1. I am completely undergoing the biggest transition of my entire life. I still feel like I need to be taking finals this week or drinking myself into a stuper with various kinds of energy drinks to stay awake to write those friggin papers! If that isn't enough, dealing with losing a loved one is never easy, especially if your relationship with them wasn't the warmest kind. Or how about understanding for the first time that you don't want to pursue life head-on as an actress (because you want a husband and 2 children) but as a teacher who acts on the side? Yeah, I'm still getting used to that one...
2. I'm inheriting an ungodly amount of money because of my dad's life insurance in the next few months which will help me BUY my first home before the age of 25. Most likely will get a car, new computer, furniture, clothes (can't wait to just buy myself some new jeans and undies), and pay for my wedding. Yeah, for a girl who had to steal food from her roommates just to get through college, this is kind of a big deal.
3. For the past 3 years, I saw myself living my life in LA or NY as a single, iindependent actress and not finding my soul-mate until my late 20's or early 30's because my career came first. Now I will be married in a year (proposal is probably coming before March, but we already have a date set for the wedding) and living in a house somewhere in St. Louis County completely and utterly in love with the man of my dreams and glorifying God at the age of 23 and completely and utterly exstatic about that.
4. I still sleep with a silky pillow case around my neck that I've had since I was born. I call it my "case."
5. I have moved my belongings from various places a total of 12 times from the time I was born until a month ago. Maybe that's why I want something consistent and steady like a husband, children, house, and career as a teacher...as far as I know no matter how terrible the economy gets, that job isn't going anywhere. Thinking about pursuing a career in acting makes me ask this question: How many people can afford entertainment in times like these? Honestly.
6. I grew up (Catholic) knowing that God existed, but until very recently(going to a non-denominational church), truly understood what it means to have a relationship with Him. I wake up every day praising His name for what He has given me. No matter what, He has used it all for good.
7. I feel myself growing distant with a lot of people in my life and I don't know how to explain to them how much I love them and feel terrible that I haven't been around much lately. When God sends you your soul-mate, it's really difficult to not want anything else. I'm trying my best to find a balance with it all. It will all work out, I promise.
8. I made a committment to God, myself, and Paul to save myself until marriage. I have become a "born-again virgin." I feel more like the Emily I remember before I met Nathan and I have more respect for her. Our wedding night will be fantastic! :)
9. I have watched alcohol tear a part my family since I was 4 years old. I have vivid memories of my dad coming home wasted and fighting with my mother. My grandma has lost a husband, 2 sons, and a son-in-law to alcohol and I don't want it in my life any longer. Although I have never seriously hurt myself or had it get terribly out of hand, I don't want to chance it. There were times where I shouldn't have driven home and there were moments where I woke up in another man's bed who was never my boyfriend. I never want to walk down that road again.
10. I have forgiven those who have hurt me and wish nothing but the best in their lives. I don't hate anyone or hold grudges.
11. I have lost about 10 lbs in the past 2 months solely because of stress. I haven't worked out since early October and need to change that.
12. Since July, I haven't been able to hold down a nanny job longer than 2 weeks. I think God is telling me to find something else. I am still having trouble figuring out what that something else is.
13. Faith Church St. Louis has been the best thing that has ever happened to me and my family. No doubt about it. It's brought us closer together. It has made us all happier individuals and it brought Paul into my life.
14. I suffer from an extreme form of PMS which has been diagnosed as PMDD but I just call it "PMS on crack." It varies from month to month as to how severe my symptoms are. Some months I don't have any symtoms and others, I have to stay home because my cramps are ridiculous or I can't stop crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason.
15. I listen to music CONSTANTLY because I don't like silence. I fall asleep to music or Scrubs on DVD.
16. I miss a lot of my friends, but am enjoying a new part of my life with my family. I have talked more with my brother, step-dad, and sister in the past few months than I have in the past few years. My mom and I were always close over the phone, but now I spend time with her more often than I have in the past. And having Paul and his family is just another amazing bonus. His little brother Keith has become my little brother (the one that thinks you are the coolest thing since sliced-bread kind of little brother).
3 comments:
Amazing changes, my friend!
I like doing the reiterating stuff so I'll do it again. hahaha!
Oh wow...you're gonna get married soon...so exciting! You might get married before I do. hehehe! But that's cool. As what I always say, "marriage is a good thing" and some think that we're just getting hasty about it. I don't think I am. For all the deaths that are happening in this world, getting married at the right age (which for me is now) should be happening as soon as possible with GOD's Perfect Choice for us in GOD's Perfect Will and Timing, of course. I can't contradict that. hehehe!
"How many people can afford entertainment in times like these?" ~>So true. I do not even go watch movies at the theater anymore because it's so expensive. I'd rather get free tickets from my sister. hahaha!
Number 8 ~>I made the same commitment. The last line is a sure thing! Very much anticipated, huh?
"I can't stop crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason." ~>I think I do this, too. Kind of. hehehe!
I am so glad for you. I understand what you mean. That is mainly why I use the cellphone and the computer a lot. For my soulmate.
I am very happy for you. You are truly focusing more on GOD, soulmate and family which is a real good thing. I do not think there are things that should come before them and that they'll be disarranged in a somewhat manner. The focus you have on them will get you to a higher level of contentment, love, joy and peace. I am sorry again for the long comment. I LOVE being able to read your posts and commenting on them because I really do feel that we almost had the same past and present. Kind of. You are a wonderful blessing to me. Your life is like a confirmation to mine. You are making a huge impact on other people's lives through your blog.
GOD BLESS YOU ABUDANTLY, my dear sister in CHRIST! P.U.S.H.
It sounds like you are on the right path! God is good! I used to be an alcoholic along with my hubby and son. I'm so thankful to have that out of our lives. It's not worth. I lost a grandfather to drinking. It's an ugly life.
Blessings.
Oh, one more thing. I'm thinking the Lord is using you to lead others to Him by using your lifes lessons. You have a lot to share with people. I know you have touched me.
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