Long time no blog...

I have been up since 3 am because I have trained my body over the last few days to only live on about 5 hours of sleep (against my will of course). So instead of just wrestling with trying to fall back asleep, I just gave in and decided to arise early and do a little reflecting, since I never seem to have enough hours in the day to do that anymore.

Well, much has occurred since my last post in February.

I have stood firm in regards to a lot of things that I had been believing for and really hadn't began to see anything manifest until April. Like a speaker I heard yesterday at a prayer conference said, "God takes a really long time to do something really fast."

BUT, God is forever faithful to the end and desires for us to be as well. Jesus tells Peter in Luke 22:32 that he " [had] prayed for [him] that [his] faith may not fail..." And I believe that is a prayer that Jesus still to this day is declaring over all of us.

All things are possible for those who believe, the Word tells us.

 

Things have accelerated so quickly over these last few weeks and my faith has been activated in a way that it never had before. And all this time, as I have waited to see my promises come to fruition, God has taught me the value of trusting Him even when I don't understand everything and even when I don't feel like my prayers are being effective at all. 

But every step of obedience has its rewards. For God IS a re-warder of those who DILIGENTLY seek Him.   

DILIGENTLY in Hebrew is ekzētéō (from 1537 /ek, "out from and to" and 2212 /zētéō, "seek") – properly, seek out, emphasizing the personal intent of the seeker, i.e. the outcome intensely and personally desired by the seeker. This seeking is only as valuable (viable) as the motive which drives it.  to seek out for oneself, beg, crave

So as I look back and see all that God has done for me over these last few months and even more so over these last few weeks, I am in utter amazement. I have been praying and believing that every area of my life would experience the new life that Spring brings because I had faced a very long winter season that had left me feeling so weighed down and utterly discouraged at times. But God is breathing upon that prayer and breathing upon those areas. I am seeing, with my own two eyes, the faithfulness of God unfold in my life: pre-approval for our first home loan (we didn't even think this would be financially possible for us for another year, but has made a way), the permission from the Lord and Paul to join a team at GHOP (Gateway House of Prayer) as a singer there and being asked on a team right away (something I had been desiring to do for an entire year), leadership opportunities at our home church where we are operating in our gifts at new levels we never thought we possible, and finally, the biggest test of faith that I had been standing and believing to happen for about 2 1/2 years-a new job with better pay and health insurance benefits- and believing for about 5 years to one day happen- a job working at Joyce Meyer Ministries. And God has came through on all of them over the last month!!!

And all I can do is praise Him! All I can do is shout for joy because I know that my God is for me! 

And I know that although some of my promises may be unfolding before me, that does not mean the enemy does not want to continue to attack my faith even in the midst of my victory. In fact, he has tried even harder to steal my joy and peace since I received breakthrough. He did not want me to enjoy this victory whatsoever. But guess what devil, I STILL GOT THE VICTORY! And even when I was waiting for the promises to manifest, I STILL HAD THE VICTORY! HA!

I believe that is why Paul urges us in Ephesians 6 to stand firm no matter what. That is the way we defend ourselves from the attacks of the enemy: we stand firm and guard ourselves from his fiery arrows with our mighty shield of faith in the knowledge that Jesus Christ conquered death, hell, and the grave for us! No matter what, we win if we don't quit! Praise the Lord!

So as I walk out these next few months ahead of me, I will continue to praise God for all that He has done for me and all that I know He will do for me in the future. That is real faith: "speaking what you are expecting, not what you are experiencing" (PDW).

Walking by faith and not by sight.

I am so, so, SO thankful for this new season! Ready for the winds of refreshing to continue to blow over me and continue to encouragement my heart that new life has arrived. 

And I end with this: know that God is no respecter of persons and if He has done all of this for me, He WILL do it for you. Just believe!

Peace&Love,

Emily 

I'm talking like a Wisconsin-ite! Ahhhh...

I have completed 3 full days of training and have technically finished about a week and a half of training in just those 3 days! Apparently I'm catching on quick and they are about ready to turn me loose on my own. That's kinda cool. I'm learning so many new and interesting things about health insurance and different feet disabilities people deal with, especially when they get up there in age. We had this lady come in that was in her 90s. What a sweet old lady! She just wanted someone to talk to...I could tell. She probably lives alone and doesn't get out much accept for when she has her appointments. But gosh darn it, even at 90, she's still driving and making it on time for those appointments. God love her. I'm excited for that part of my job. Just being a listening ear to those who need it. :)

So I'm here in Milwaukee until Friday and have 2 more days left of training here. Next week I'll train in St. Louis and learn more and more of what I dove into this week. I'm excited to be able to handle the office on my own. It's SO much more than answering phones! It's nuts how much math I actually have to do for this job. So much new terminology to understand and memorize! But it's good to expand your mind and learn new stuff.

Tonight Paul and I checked some more things off of our wedding planning list. We moved the date back to December (per our pastor's request) and Paulie found a reception hall about 10 minutes from the church! The bonus is that we get a MAJOR discount since my Gpa is a member of the American Legion so we barely have to pay anything for the hall. Favor! We fixed our registries at Walmart and Target and figured out how to update them. I'm sure we'll do that often as time goes by. Paulie cancelled the Kohls registry since I didn't really like what we had registered for there (we were in a hurry I think). I'm thinking about registering us for JcPenney's instead. I've always liked their home decor stuff. More options I think.

On a side note, I wanted to say a little something about how important prayer is. I never realized how much prayer can change things/people/situations. I was so happy to hear about Danielle and Jordan's breakthrough yesterday. I was praying for them so much because I know there are so many people struggling right now with jobs because of this economy. But our God provides and takes care of His kids! :) Praise God! I also saw the impact of prayer on my own life: getting my voice back just in time to record the album for Innerlight. The enemy surely didn't want me to be any part of praising God, especially if it was going to be distributed to the youth of this generation! But ha! God moved that mountain and turned that situation around! The infection is totally gone and I feel so much better than I did last week. I also have been able to pay off all my credit cards and start working on my student loan debt. Not to mention being able to buy (paid in full) a brand new car. I'm definitely not hurting financially, which is probably the first time I have ever been able to say that in my life. Praise Jesus! Just keep praying and tything and believing in a breakthrough. It will happen for you too! Your breakthrough is on it's way in the name of Jesus!

Ahhh...good things, good things. So many good things!

I'll be back Friday night and CANNOT wait to see my baby. Sitting alone in a hotel room for 5 nights really isn't fun. Especially when you have to sleep in a big ol' King-sized bed alone and are aching for a cuddle-buddy. Oh well. Soon enough I'll be home where I belong. Hopefully this Northern Dialect won't stick because I find myself going in and out of the "don't cha know" and "do-dad" talk. Seriously, they say things like that. Who says "do-dads?" LOL. Silly Wisconsin. Silly silly silly. Thankfully Miss Ana is keeping me busy with our video calls on Skype (my screenname is emily.rose85 if you wanna add me). I had a good time catching up with her for 2 hours. It's so much better being able to talk to her AND see her face! :) And a lovely face at that! Love you deary.

Anyhoo...almost 9pm. Time for my nightly call to Paulie. Free calls are the best kinds! :)

Peace & Love.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow...

Brrrr....it's cold outside!

Although Paul and I haven't seen much of each other over the course of the past 2 days because of the blistery weather, I have gotten some down-time for myself and have been able to catch up on my wedding planning and researching. Thumbs up for snow days!

I applied for another job today. As a teacher for La Petite Academy in Glen Carbon. If it's meant to be, it will be...I'm in no rush. God blessed me with another tutoring job today. :) His timing is forever perfect. I get paid $15 an hour to sit with gradeschool kids and help them with my favorite subjects: English and Reading. It's a blast and the rewards are wonderful! I love it when I hear that my students Aced their Social Studies test or raised their English grade from a D to a B! It makes me feel like I'm really making a difference. I've never had that satisfaction with acting before. It's pretty cool.

I got some price quotes from catering and banquet centers today, called about my wedding dress, and took care of some student loan biz-nazz. A pretty productive day compared to most days since November. You betcha.

I guess being away from Paul for the first time in MONTHS gets to me from time to time. When the weather is crappy, Arnold, MO seems sooooo far away. I spend most of my time with him and share conversation after conversation with this man. He truly has become my best friend. I got a good deal out of this whole soul-mate thing. :) I guess these past 2 days away from him really allows for it all to sink in how much I love him and how much he means to me. Next Thursday marks 10 months until our wedding. Time goes by so fast, doesn't it?!

Well, that's all for now. Come watch Pastor Dave with me tonight at 7pm on Faith Church's website: http://www.faithchurchstlouis.com/secondary.php?pageid=26

Peace & Love.

Sweet sleep I ask of you...sweet sleep He gives unto me.

From Vive Alive (http://vivealive.blogspot.com/2008/11/sweet-sleep.html)

"The 2002 National Sleep Foundation (NSF) Sleep in America poll found that 74 percent of American adults are experiencing a sleeping problem a few nights a week or more, 39% get less than seven hours of sleep each weeknight.I wonder what is the statistics like for my nation especially with the current economic turmoil. Worry is definitely one of the reason for causing sleep disorder but there are other reasons that add to this condition.Good sleep is a basic necessity of life, as important to our health and well-being as air, food and water. When we sleep well, we wake up feeling refreshed, alert and ready to face daily challenges. When we don't, every part of our lives can suffer. Our jobs, relationships, productivity, health and safety are all put at risk. And lack of sleep due to sleep loss or sleep disorders is taking a serious toll. Proverbs 3:24 says "When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." The Lord provides a way for us to have sweet sleep. Psalms 3:5 says "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me".In order for us to have a sweet sleep, the Bible gives us a little instruction in Psalms 4:4 that says "...when you are on your beds, search your heart and be silent." How do we search our heart and be silent? I believe strongly this is a call for a time of devotion and prayer before sleep. Surrendering our worries, our cares and our troubles at the feet of Jesus will help us to have sweet sleep. Psalms 4:8 continues to elaborate on the outcome. The Psalmist says "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety."

These bible verses are what have been the center of my life these past few nights. I didn't realize how much I would have to profess them on a nightly basis to rest up completely or even feel safe to close my eyes. You see, since my dad's death, I have been having these HORRIBLE nightmares where I wake up screaming and sweating profusely. You know, the kind of nightmares you used to have when you were a kid. These were bad. Not only scary, but emotionally draining and painful. And not only during the dream, but after I woke up. For the past 3 nights, I have been terrified to go back to sleep or even sit up in my room alone at night. I started to hear things and even see things in the corner of my eye. I realized that I was giving way to fear and letting that affect my faith in a bad way. "Fear tolerated is Faith contaminated," says Pastor Dave. I wanted sweet sleep; a sleep that never was broken throughout the night and a sleep that allowed me to wake up in the morning and not at 1:30pm. I hadn't had sweet sleep in quite some time and I was letting my mind play terrible tricks on me. I would not stand for it any longer. I've come too far to let my faith be shaken like this.

So last night, I prayed not only at church about having sweet sleep, but before I went to bed. I declared to the enemy that "I would NOT allow my mind to control me and that I would have SWEET SLEEP in the name of JESUS." And I'm here to tell you that I did not awake one time, and even though I may have had an odd dream, it did not shake my faith. I fought that nightmare and my mind. And I had God on my side. He would not allow his child, his daughter, be awoken by any torment the enemy wanted to throw her way. I woke up well rested this morning at 9:30 and I am ready to start my day, praise God.

I guess I just wanted to share a story of my fight of faith. I realized last night that I never had a problem before with any of this because I was never a worry or problem to the enemy. I was never fully on God's side. I had one foot in and one foot out for many years...maybe even my whole life. Now, with my full armor of God on, I'm a threat to the enemy. I'm serving, helping people, loving life, and telling others about God. And the enemy hates my guts. I know that I have to work that much harder every day to strengthen my relationship with God because sometimes I feel the pull in the other direction. I don't pray as much as I should, I don't read my Bible as much as I should, and it hasn't came easy to me yet. I'm still learning how to do this whole-heartedly. I come to church all the time and I'm a part of the youth band and drama team, but it's so much more than that. You have to put your whole self into it. You have to die to this world completely and become God's "good and faithful servant." That means, I need to talk to Him all the time. And I'm going to be honest with you, it hasn't been easy for me. But I'm working on it.

I hope you all have a blessed week.

Peace & Love.

Just around the corner, I will find it...

It's been exactly one month since I became unemployed. Somehow God continues to provide and I make it out just fine. It's coming...I can feel it!

I actually cannot stop laughing right now. I JUST, I am telling you JUST got a phone call from one of the ladies I contacted about nannying for them!!! I have an interview/trial-run tomorrow at 3pm. The woman was oh so nice and I'm really excited for this! YAY YAY YAY!!!!

God is good my friends, God IS OH SO GOOD! LOL

I was just complaining about how it's exactly 1 month and the phone rings. How perfect His timing is!

Aside from that, I continue to make connections with people in the business and I'm not even searching for them! Apparently there is a couple in our church that have been actors for over 20 years and are connected with Channel 9 here in St. Louis! The woman in charge of the dramas at church wants to introduce me to them as well! And I was on the phone with one of my nanny placement coordinators and she told me about her husband who is a playwright. His plays are performed all around the world! Thumbs up for God's amazing timing and plans!

Peace, Love, & Joy!