I know, above all, that I am geniunely happy and full of joy. I also know that I have a wonderful relationship with God. But how do I deal with the somber and still times when all I want is someone to lie in the grass and talk to for hours? Or bring back those connections that I had that have slipped through my fingers?
I have 3 men in my life that I have had various connections with through the years and all 3 of those men have stopped talking to me. 1 has moved away (without saying goodbye), one never returns my calls or texts, and one deleted me from both myspace and facebook, and never returned my messages or my hand-written letter for absolutely no reason than getting angry that I expressed my feelings. And I honestly miss them so much. I am supposed to love them from afar, but that is so much to ask of one person.
I'm dealing with my worldly obligations and trying to find peace in it all. I do know that I have amazing friends that surround my life. Praise God for that. Hmm...yes...
So where do I go from here? Continue to live milo-second by milo-second and praise God during the tough times and the easy times and all the gray in between? I believe so. *Sigh* So here is to the bland and the boring. They will all add up to something great very soon.
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