Emily Update.

So, I've been blogging a little more recently and I'm starting to enjoy it again. 2011 was not the year for blogging for me, but I definitely became a more faithful journal writer. God definitely stretched me and molded me this past year and I am grateful to have that entire year documented in a notebook. :)

But I have decided to keep the ol' blog alive. In addition to By God's Grace, I have also picked up another writing endeavor at We are the Burning Ones... where I bring up topics regarding the Bible, sound teachings, and ministry life. I try to not to dive into too many personal things there, but I know that it is hard for me to separate my faith and beliefs anywhere I write or go for that matter.

Any hoo, after almost a month of the Daniel Fast (Jentzen Franklin's 21 day fast to get your edge back)...

My food intake for almost a month...

I have been working out pretty consistently for 2 weeks now. I lost about 10 lbs but I also lost a lot of muscle because of the lack of protein...doh! I have been running on a tread-mill, stretching, toning my arms with free-weights, and working on my abs with pilates. I feel great! I am excited to see the results in about a month. I think the best thing you can do to get consistent with working out is finding a schedule that works for you and stick with it. If you set time aside to do it, it will be easier to stay motivated since you have an allotted time slot for it.

Same goes for your prayer life also. If you set aside time where you know you won't be disturbed and you can get alone with the Lord, you will be eager to keep building that relationship with Him. You will notice a difference in your attitude and the way you treat people when you spend time with God. I notice such a peace and a joy when I spend time in the Lord's presence, whether talking to Him or just sitting in the quiet, candles lit, and waiting on Him. There is no other word to describe it then peaceful. And in the world that we live in today, we could use some of that kind of peace. The Bible calls it a "peace that passes all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

So between those 2 things, I have been keeping myself pretty busy. Paulie has 2 jobs (he's my workin man) and about 3-4 days out of the week, we don't see each other up until he slips into bed with me. Sometimes I am awake enough to chat with him, other times I am just able to kiss

him goodnight when he comes home, and some times I am just conked out snoozing away. It has been hard, but nothing that we can't handle. We appreciate every moment that we can get and don't take any of it for grant it. Because of that, our marriage is so alive and strong.

Monday-Wednesday this week was the stretch of time where we only saw each other before bed, so tonight is special for us. He gets off at 5 and I couldn't be more excited! :) After I work out, I am gonna shower, and curl my hair for him and make him dinner. I love taking care of Paulie. He works so hard for us. I'm not too big on Valentine's Day because it makes it seem like that is the only day a couple should shower each other with love. I try to treat my husband like that all the time.

Me and my hubs a few weeks ago on one of our "off night, date nights" :)

Show love. Give love. Live love. Always.

Peace&Love.

Em

Love Never Fails

Choose love over criticism.
Choose love over judgement.
You once wandered in darkness,
So show compassion to those who have gone astray.
They need love to help light their path.
Love them back to restoration.
Help them with their love walk.
Help them walk in the light where I am found.
Fill yourself up with the Word.
The Word lights your path.
The Word is founded in Love.

If we are full of Love
nothing else can have room in our hearts.
Deception, sin, unbelief, hate, pride...
It cannot stay because there is no room for it.
Love conquers all of it.
Love never fails.

Time to spare...

Welp, today I find myself able to spend a little extra time blogging for a bit.

It's good to set time aside to just reflect. Not much of a blogger anymore, but from time to time I don't mind letting the world (whoever happens to read this anyway...) read my thoughts. Most of my writing goes into a hand-written journal or in my notebook of lyrics.

Speaking of my notebook of lyrics, I have been consistently writing songs for several months now. My songwriting has increased quite a lot since January though. When I was younger, I used to write short stories and poetry. In high school, the poetry continued as young love blossomed and eventually I began to put melodies to my words. I always seemed to pen my thoughts and emotions in a journal but it wasn't until a year or so ago that I stepped back into creative writing. I enjoy it so much!

My songs are inspired by scripture and just flow out from my intimate prayer times with the Lord. I sing to Him and write songs to Him and about Him. It is really cool when I get the opportunity to sing them with the band at Wrecked. I only do it for God's glory and if He opens the door to recording an album someday, that would just be a bonus. I never want to make something happen,I only want to walk in what He has called me to and in His timing.

I just want to live my life to please the Lord. Honestly, it is all about trusting God.

Here are few lyrics that I wrote earlier this week regarding that thought:

"Lord, please take control

Let Your will be done.

I can't do this on my own.

Please carry me...carry me."

"Jesus Your word is true

I put my trust in You

You hold my life in Your hands..."

May be this is what my blog can be about from now on...just songs that God drops down in my heart to share. I hope some of it blesses you.

Peace&Love.

Em

I'm back!

So it's almost 3AM and I couldn't sleep. I remember when I was in college and this would happen to me, I would just open up my laptop and begin to write. Just stream of consciousness type of writing. After awhile, my eyes would get heavy and I would be able to doze off fairly quickly.

And tonight, or this morning (however you wanna look at it), I realized how much I missed my old blog.

I have missed out on an entire year of blogging, my friends. That kind of makes me a little sad. But there is no better time to start back up then now! I have been keeping a written journal continuously, so not all is lost in the memory upkeep!

So...what's up with me these days, you might ask?

Well, I'm still very much enjoying married life. It will be 2 years here shortly....December 5th to be exact. I can't believe that much time has passed! I'm truly looking forward to a lovely dinner with my hubs next weekend. Frankly, I haven't seen much of him now that the holiday season is here. He is a salesman at Sears so retail hours can be kinda rough on this 9-5, M-F chick. Not to mention he has picked up a part-time job (2-10:30pm shift) to help knock out some of our debt. We definitely have to make the most of the time we have together. Helps us not take each other for granted.

I pay closer attention to the time we have. When you don't get much, you try to soak it all in. Car rides to Wal-mart or QT start to become more precious than you'd think. And as you can tell, we try not to take life too seriously. :)

Work Life:

The office made a move in July to a new location. Newer, cleaner, and more day-light!

The view from my desk... I no longer feel like I'm working in a basement! :)

I've been with NPS for 2 years and 8 months so far and I'm still believing for something else. I refuse to complain because I know I am blessed to even HAVE a job and a decent source of income. I would just like something a little less stressful and a little more enjoyable. I know God has me there for a purpose (and for a season) and I'm constantly trying to live with purpose when I'm there. When it comes down to it, people just need a little kindness and warmth in there lives and I try my best every day to show it to anyone who crosses my path.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,"

~Colossians 3:23

It all comes down to His timing and I will trust Him completely. I know if I wanted to, I could take matters into my own hands and find a new job. But would it be God's plan for me? I don't want to go my own way then ask God to bless it. I'd rather have God reveal His plans for me and they'd already be blessed! This doesn't give me a license to be lazy though. I keep my eyes open for opportunities and a couple doors have opened, but they didn't work out. Not to say God wasn't in it, it just may not have been in His timing.

Ministry Life:

I'm still leading worship at Wrecked Ministries. We have renewed our lease at the building another year. God is continuing to stretch all of us as we keep our eyes focused on Jesus and not on growing a ministry. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God... Our worship services are still VERY intimate, but we are so blessed to be able to worship without limitations. We never pay attention to the clock and we don't care how you worship: lying down, kneeling, standing, sitting. We just ask that you surrender your heart fully to Jesus and pour out your best to Him. We've had our ups and downs in the leadership, but God has remained faithful. We believe if we can be found faithful over the little, He will make us rulers over much. So we honestly don't pay much attention to numbers anymore. We just want to raise up a prayer culture and a group of burning ones who long to worship the King in Spirit and in Truth.

Paul and I have tried out several churches over the last year, but we haven't found our "home" yet. When you're involved in a ministry, it hardly seems like you are missing out on too much because you aren't "forsaking the assembling together of yourselves." But there is something about attending church on a Sunday morning that nothing else can really replace. Again, we know in God's timing, He will reveal to us where He needs us to go. Until then, we are meeting regularly at Wrecked for worship, prayer, and Bible study.

Any way, the eyes are starting to get heavy just like I expected. :)

It's good to be back! Hopefully the next time I write it won't be an entire year later...

Peace&Love.

Friday daze

Got a chance to sleep in a little bit this morning (bc my boss rocks) and find myself wanting to cuddle up next to the heater and take a nap already.

Not feeling up to working full force today. Haven't been for the last few days actually. Kinda funny cuz I almost drove to the Wrecked building this morning instead of work so that shows you where my heart lies right now. I want to immerse myself in worship sets and write music all day long. But alas, God has placed me here in this season to verify insurance benefits and schedule appointments. Lol. Such a calling! Sorry for being fecisious. Health insurance just isn't the most exciting to work with.

I'm just having one of those days where I almost get sick thinking of this season lasting another 4 years (at least our plan for now) until I get to be a stay at home mom (my true calling). But must remain patient and in faith that God has it all under control. My sour attitude today probably has something to do with denying myself natural pleasures for almost 2 weeks now. How I crave chocolate! Oh well...it's good for me.

At least more puzzle pieces are coming together for Paul's true calling. He has always wanted to be a cop and now that he is 21 he can finally go through the Academy. The next class doesn't start until January so God is moving some stuff around to make it all possible for him to go to school and graduate from the Academy...big steps for a homeschooler who has never attended public school! I will help him though. Who knew I would get to enjoy the stresses of college all over again! Haha. But it is cuz I love my hubs that we will do it together.

Keep ya posted on this transition....

Peace&love.

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Hello 2011!

So here we are....a new year and a new season in the Massey home.

Guess it's a a new season because I got rid of a lot of things from my past last week. Threw away journals and pictures from messy and dark times in my life. Memories should bring a smile to your face, not make you want to curl up in a ball and cry for days or throw things.

Been considering deleting this blog for awhile as well, but sometimes I feel like it is my one connection to the rest of the internet world. No more facebook or twitter, so what to do?

A lot has gone on since my last blog entry. I've grown and stretched over the last few months. Discovered life by losing it (Matthew 10:39). Actually, not much is left of "my plan" at all...and I have never been happier. Such a simple statement from Jesus, yet it is probably the most impossible for us to accomplish.

Every day I attempt to "die to myself" and ask God what He wants me to do in any given situation. Of course we all fall when we try to do it on our own, but the good news is that you never really are alone. He doesn't "leave you nor forsake you."

November was a month of growth for Paul and I as we began to consistently pray and read the Bible together for the first time in our relationship. It has brought us closer together in so many ways. We also tried small day (2-3 days) fasting to keep our flesh in check. Definitely new to me. Went on a reading frenzy and couldn't stop for about 3 weeks straight. If I wasn't working, eating, or sleeping, I was reading SOMETHING. Got a chance to see Iron and Wine at the Pageant with my friend Lindsay. What an awesome show! Paul and I spent Thanksgiving at my folks' new home out in the country. I thank God for His hand in that one. I'm so happy to know they are out of that old dark and depressing house. Not to get spooky spiritual, but they were definitely not wanted in that home. Evil presence in that house. But now, they are in a new place full of love and angels at every door and window.

December Paul turned the big 2-1...finally! He bought his gun that he has talked about since I first met him and we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary at The Melting Pot and a night at the Millennium Hotel. It was a lovely evening out together. It was fun to get all dolled up for my man. My ability as a worship leader began to surprise me as each service went by. I was in awe and finally realized that I can only be a vessel for Him to use and nothing more. If I did it on my own, I would struggle, but with the Holy Spirit on my side, I get done and can't even stand up. I turned 25 on the 22nd and found out that phone calls/texts from friends get scarce or non-existent when you get older (or it might have something to do with not being on facebook sadly...) Oh well. Christmas went by too fast, as usual. It really was a Christmas full of giving for me, but I did get a nice gift certificate to a spa from my folks. Excited to use it soon! :)

And well, here we are January 2011....sounds sci fi to me. You know, flying cars and whatnot. Too bad it's not the case. It'd be cool though.

Paul and I got a chance to go on a trip to Chattanooga, TN for 3 days with Wrecked Ministries for Winter RAMP. And it was an AH-MAZING way to start off this new year. God moved in a mighty way among 7,000 young world changers. One night we were there: we had been worshiping and interceding for about 3 hours when we felt a shift happen in the room and a young 9 year old boy stood up out of his wheelchair (one that was built for him) and walked. The entire room went crazy. I have never prayed, danced, or cried out to God that hard in my entire life. It was a life-changing experience to say the least. Since January 1st, I have made some big commitments to God dealing with my walk with Him and He has shown Himself faithful to me in many ways. The anointing upon our worship team has been absolutely awesome and God shows up every single time. I am oh so excited to see where He takes this ministry. We are reaching out to the city of St. Louis in hopes of changing lives for Jesus. So far, it has been worth every second of prayer and service to Him.

Hopefully there will be more from me more frequently this year. I don't know why I have strayed away from writing over this past year. Maybe I have been trying to keep the focus off of myself...probably the reason I deleted my twitter and facebook. I don't want people to focus on me. I want them to see Him through me. So if this is why I am writing, then let them see Him through me and the story I continually ask Him to direct for me.

Soon I will tell a story about some lessons God taught me last week regarding my desire to write a book on my life. It was cool what I heard down in my heart. Oh so cool...

But any hoo hoo....back to my hubs on the couch.

Peace&love.

Enough to heal

So about a month has gone by since we left Faith Church and I am utterly in awe of God's continued direction.
He knows how to take care of the situation when we don't have a clue how we are gonna get through it all. From my last post, you can tell it was pretty emotional for me. It still is tough in a way, but now I feel a confidence in our walk. We know we are exactly where God needs us to be.
On top of that, He has sent numerous new friends our way to help us through this transition. We no longer feel out of place. Our new church is great. We are being fed in great ways spiritually and have found a firey passion for seeking more of God in every aspect of our lives. And because God is so awesome, I now sing praise and worship in a band again. Not for Twin Rivers, but Wrecked Ministries (www.wreckedministries.com). God is bringing the right people into our lives and is orchestating something beautiful with our gifts and callings. 
Friday night was the first time I have ever lead an entire worship service with prayer and everything. God is definitely stretching me in many ways. I am learning about abilities I did'nt even know I had. Lol
I am making set lists and writing my own music (thanks to the direction of the Holy Spirit). It has been incredible! I had no idea a month ago that God would bless me with such amazing responsibility. I am so grateful. :)
The only bummer...I am finding it harder to stay engaged at work. I go through the motions to get it all done but my heart is'nt in it. I find myself wanting to listen to worship music all day and emailing my band mates. I want to read more books and the Bible. I don't feel called to this job any more. But how do I look at the unemployment and not freak out? There are always days like this that I have had where I feel out of place in the secular world, but I am not trying to escape it completely. I just want to know that I am being used to my fullest potential. At this point, I believe anyone could do my job. With my personality...maybe maybe not. But I feel held back here. I don't know...
Must go to God in prayer, I hear. It is hard for a goal-oriented person to just sit back and wait for a door to open. Where is my calling in the secular world? Show me God.
Love&peace.
Em