Friday, April 24, 2009

6 whole months.

Tomorrow Paul and I will celebrate 6 months together. I would have never thought that I would fall so hard for someone like I have fallen for Paul in such a short period of time.

He entered my life so quickly and we weren't dating very long before we dove into wedding planning. I can't imagine life without him now. He's my best friend and my soul-mate. Each day that passes is one more day we grow deeper in our faith and deeper in love. The voicemails and the text messages I get from him on a daily basis bring tears to my eyes. I'm a hopeless romantic and I'm not ashamed.

God knew how much I needed this. All of it. The roses, the chocolate, the love letters. It's all so cliche and I really don't care. I'm blessed to have this simplicity. It helps lessen the likelihood of me going crazy or stressing out. I actually get a little unpleasant when I don't get to see Paul. Haha. So I really can't imagine me locking myself up in play rehearsals for months at a time any more. I'd miss him too much. I'd rather love person over something that will never learn how to love me back.

*sigh*

I'm headed to SIUE to see a few friends perform in "As You Like It." I still go to support them because I remember how important it was to me for people to come support me when I still did shows. I'm actually really excited to see a lot of them. I've been kinda anti-social these past few months and it'll be nice to say hello to my pals.

Anyway, this weather is absolutely gorgeous and makes me want to visit the beach! :)

Have a blessed weekend everyone!!!

Peace&Love.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

When did I grow up?

I stayed home today because my body was screaming at me to do so. I've been running myself ragged for over a month and my immune system is definitely showing it. But it was nice to get a chance to sleep in, clean my messy room, put away laundry that has been sitting for a week, and do some ironing. *Sigh*

Sometimes I wonder whose life I'm leading since it's changed so drastically in one year. Can you believe that one year ago I was getting ready to graduate college? I can't. It seems like yesterday, but at the same time, it feels like forever ago. I'm now getting ready for marriage. It's weird how life works. You get used to something for a few years and then suddenly, your life takes a turn and you're older. Most people, like me, are in gradeschool for 6-7 years, then junior high for 2-3 years, high school for 4 years, and then college for 4-6, and some people continue schooling for 2-5 more years after that. Each time you reach a new level of education, your environment changes, your mindset changes. And each time, you have to get used to the person you are becoming.

I've noticed over and over again that I am not the Emily of a year ago. God did some MAJOR changes to my heart and mind this year and oddly enough, it began shortly after I escaped the grip of education. I no longer could look to the instituation of education to define me. I wasn't a freshman, sophomore, junior, or senior any more. I wasn't a cheerleader, band-o, SETO officer, or theatre major. I eventually started to lose the title of "actress" as well. I had to learn how to be Emily Rose. Just me. And let me tell you....it's hard to find yourself when you have been told who you are by someone else your whole life. I'm reminded of the labeling every single time I log onto facebook and I'm bombarded by people from my past. Pictures, stories of cast-parties, and people complaining about writing papers and freaking out about projects that are due. I work now. Yep. I spend my days working in an office, in front of a computer and answering phones. A job I NEVER thought I would be good at, let alone enjoy. But I do and that weirds me out to no end! :) I also spend my nights volunteering at church. Performing silly skits for the kids in the Kids of Faith Ministry and singing with the youth band, Innerlight. And in between work and church, I spend time with my best friend, my fiance, Paul.

I have come to a place where it's okay that I don't have a million friends that I spend all my time with. I'm completely content with what and who God has given me to play out my days. My life is simple, yet it keeps me busy. I am who I am and I wouldn't ever want to change that.

*Sigh* I'm not really sure what this blog was about, but I know that every time I catch a glimpse of my past on facebook, I feel the need to announce the change that has entered my life. I don't party anymore, I don't really act in plays or musicals (or even have the desire...which is REALLY weird), I don't really enjoy watching plays anymore either (I don't know why that is either). I have reached another level of life called ADULTHOOD.

But I'm left wondering...when did I grow up?

Friday, April 17, 2009

Moving forward...

I'm finally getting back into the swing of things as far as the wedding is concerned. I'm going to look for my dress tomorrow (FINALLY!) and I just bought Paulie's wedding ring. I'm going to try to surprise him with it on our wedding day. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to. He'll know that I bought it, but he won't know what it looks like until that day. I'm excited!!! :)

I paid the deposit for the reception hall and will hopefully be making more calls about the cake and dj and whatnot. Luckily, the food is going to be taken care of as well. Don't have to worry too much about finding a caterer. Thank God!

I need to keep my bridesmaids updated. I'm doing a bad job of that. I found the dress for them, I just need to make sure they get measured sometime soon! I added another bridesmaid a few weeks ago (now I have 7 including my lil sis who will be a junior bridesmaid...craziness!). I really wanted my cousin Katie to be in it since we were really close growing up and I'm only getting married once. Things just shift so much when you get older. I don't stay in touch with all my friends as much as I should, but at this point, I hardly see Paul. So if I haven't talked to you in awhile, don't take offense. I'm trying...

Honeymoon stuff:

We're praying for a trip to Hawaii. The inheritence money is taking a lot longer to receive then first expected. There's a possibility we might have to take one of the insurance companies to court. If this is the case, we may have to use the money out of our own pocket for our wedding. Pretty much like every other person on the planet that doesn't have a rich mommy and daddy. It's okay though. Everything is pretty easy to pay for so far. Not sure how much my dress is going to cost me, but at this point, I don't want to spend more than a few hundred dollars. I'm only wearing it for one day and not even a full day...9 hours. The food will probably be the most expensive thing, but it's still going to be under $2,000. It's kinda crazy how quickly things start adding up. I'm just ready to be married, but at the same time, I'm glad Paul and I get to enjoy being engaged for awhile.

Well, I'm going to enjoy this gorgeous Spring day. What a lovely Friday!!!

Have a blessed and beautiful weekend all!

Peace & Love.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Catching my breath.

So my life seems to have been running out ahead of me as I trail behind it yelling "Hey! Wait for me!!!"

Let's just say life got shoved into hyper-drive in the matter of a few weeks. And I now know the meaning of ADULTHOOD......WORK. Yes, yes...it's what I do now. And it feels really good, but at the same time I definitely don't feel like a kid any more. I may not have my own place, but there are things that I go without now that used to be at the center of my life because I had the freedom to do pretty much whatever I wanted if it was outside of theatre and the classroom.

I now understand why the weekends are so precious to so many working individuals. You need it! To catch your breath, to relax your body and mind. To rejuvinate before Monday comes learing around the corner. I truly love my new job. I'm good at it (not to sound too proud). But I give all the glory to my Maker for giving me the brains to be an amazing multi-tasker, organizer, and number-cruncher! I never thought I would enjoy working in an office, but it's perfect for a person like me who needs constant mind stimulation. Acting was good emotional stimulation, but now that I have God and Paulie, I've gotten that taken care of. I never had to use my thinking skills, my mind, my brain to dive into acting. I mean, yes, I had to use my mind pychologically. It was challenging emotionally, but it was never really the REAL mental challenge (not mentally challenged, lol...mental challenge...one that can be overcome...lol) I needed. I haven't had to use these math, communication, and organizational skills since I was in high school. College was stressful only because I was never stimulating my whole mind and never pushed it to where I know it could go because of how God made me.

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be "when I grow up" (professionally speaking), but I do know I'm called to be a servant of God, a strong and compassionate wife, and a loving mother. And it looks like I'm headed down the right path so far. :) I love being Paul's fiance. I couldn't ask for a better title (well, until 'wife' comes along in 8 months...). I love him with all of my heart and love sharing my life experiences with someone so precious and amazing like Paul.

I also don't know if/when I will go back to theatre. I'm still performing all the time at church. Singing in the youth band and performing as "POW" the superhero bible character (lol...never thought I would ever say that word combonation) for the children's ministry. It's more fulfilling than any of those characters I have played in the past because I'm impacting children's lives and their walk with God. What could be more meaningful than that? Definitely better than cussing someone out or stripping on stage. Drenched with pride and arrogance and confused out of my mind as to what is right and wrong. Wondering why I didn't get the part because "I'm so much prettier and talented than her!" My goodness have I come a long way from that life. Thank God that He loves me enough to not let me stay the same and to constantly change me.

Anyway, I guess I was feeling in a writing mood today. I just wanted to reflect a little bit on how far I've come.

I'm full of the fruits of the Spirit today as I remember what today is. Our Savior died for us on this Good Friday and He is Risen and we get to celebrate it all this weekend! Praise the Lord! I feel so loved. Warm and fuzziness. :)

I hope you all have a beautiful Easter weekend!

Peace & Love.

Friday, March 27, 2009

It's all coming together...FINALLY!

I'm finally a working woman! Praise God! The job is challenging and I feel like I'm being used to my fullest potential. Now I'm just waiting to get even better at it and eventually become full-time and get benefits! But I'm not gonna get too ahead of myself. Just enjoying what I have for now. And I'm so happy to be busy during the day.

Monday-Thursday I wake up at 5am and on Fridays I get to sleep until about 9ish, which is a blessing. But, I'm definitely staying busy at all times. I'm paying off debts left and right and obediently tything. It's a good feeling to not be financially drowning and also being able to take care of your family. Paying bills for other people is the reason God blesses His children with money. *Sigh* Things just feel really awesome right now. I honestly don't have anything to complain about. My Heavenly Father has been taking care of me. I feel so full of joy and peace.

Good things:

I love my new job. I make phone calls to insurance companies to verify their benefits and eligibility. I also call patients to discuss payment and set up appointments and whatnot. I really enjoy the challenges that come every day.

Paul and I have been enjoying 5 months together! :) It's funny because we've been engaged longer than we dated! LOL. OH well, we're in love! Wedding planning is coming along. Booked our reception hall, signing the contract soon. Gonna go sample wedding cakes next weekend. Seriously need to go looking for wedding dresses soon. Gotta find time to do that! I'm not freaking out yet...still got about 8 more months. I'll find it soon.

Well, I'm making some SAVE-THE-DATE cards to mail out! Back to work!

Peace & Love.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I'm talking like a Wisconsin-ite! Ahhhh...

I have completed 3 full days of training and have technically finished about a week and a half of training in just those 3 days! Apparently I'm catching on quick and they are about ready to turn me loose on my own. That's kinda cool. I'm learning so many new and interesting things about health insurance and different feet disabilities people deal with, especially when they get up there in age. We had this lady come in that was in her 90s. What a sweet old lady! She just wanted someone to talk to...I could tell. She probably lives alone and doesn't get out much accept for when she has her appointments. But gosh darn it, even at 90, she's still driving and making it on time for those appointments. God love her. I'm excited for that part of my job. Just being a listening ear to those who need it. :)

So I'm here in Milwaukee until Friday and have 2 more days left of training here. Next week I'll train in St. Louis and learn more and more of what I dove into this week. I'm excited to be able to handle the office on my own. It's SO much more than answering phones! It's nuts how much math I actually have to do for this job. So much new terminology to understand and memorize! But it's good to expand your mind and learn new stuff.

Tonight Paul and I checked some more things off of our wedding planning list. We moved the date back to December (per our pastor's request) and Paulie found a reception hall about 10 minutes from the church! The bonus is that we get a MAJOR discount since my Gpa is a member of the American Legion so we barely have to pay anything for the hall. Favor! We fixed our registries at Walmart and Target and figured out how to update them. I'm sure we'll do that often as time goes by. Paulie cancelled the Kohls registry since I didn't really like what we had registered for there (we were in a hurry I think). I'm thinking about registering us for JcPenney's instead. I've always liked their home decor stuff. More options I think.

On a side note, I wanted to say a little something about how important prayer is. I never realized how much prayer can change things/people/situations. I was so happy to hear about Danielle and Jordan's breakthrough yesterday. I was praying for them so much because I know there are so many people struggling right now with jobs because of this economy. But our God provides and takes care of His kids! :) Praise God! I also saw the impact of prayer on my own life: getting my voice back just in time to record the album for Innerlight. The enemy surely didn't want me to be any part of praising God, especially if it was going to be distributed to the youth of this generation! But ha! God moved that mountain and turned that situation around! The infection is totally gone and I feel so much better than I did last week. I also have been able to pay off all my credit cards and start working on my student loan debt. Not to mention being able to buy (paid in full) a brand new car. I'm definitely not hurting financially, which is probably the first time I have ever been able to say that in my life. Praise Jesus! Just keep praying and tything and believing in a breakthrough. It will happen for you too! Your breakthrough is on it's way in the name of Jesus!

Ahhh...good things, good things. So many good things!

I'll be back Friday night and CANNOT wait to see my baby. Sitting alone in a hotel room for 5 nights really isn't fun. Especially when you have to sleep in a big ol' King-sized bed alone and are aching for a cuddle-buddy. Oh well. Soon enough I'll be home where I belong. Hopefully this Northern Dialect won't stick because I find myself going in and out of the "don't cha know" and "do-dad" talk. Seriously, they say things like that. Who says "do-dads?" LOL. Silly Wisconsin. Silly silly silly. Thankfully Miss Ana is keeping me busy with our video calls on Skype (my screenname is emily.rose85 if you wanna add me). I had a good time catching up with her for 2 hours. It's so much better being able to talk to her AND see her face! :) And a lovely face at that! Love you deary.

Anyhoo...almost 9pm. Time for my nightly call to Paulie. Free calls are the best kinds! :)

Peace & Love.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Times they are a-changin'...

So I had my orientation yesterday at my new job. I have no idea what I'm going to be doing yet, but I'll find that out soon at training. I'm going to be learning something completely out of my element. Which I think is good for me. You should always continue to learn more, continue to grow. Expand your horizons, ya know.

Got my sunroof put it, and today is a wonderful to day to have it open but I'm currently nannying and won't be able to do so until about 6ish. Oh well, I've got plenty more sunny days to enjoy in the future!

I've been getting a lot of new things lately. New wardrobe: shoes, pants, shirts, jewlery, etc. And new music to jam to. I'm typing this blog on my new laptop. It was a good deal at Best Buy. It's a Toshiba and it has a webcam installed. I signed up for a Skype account so me and Miss Ana can chat! :) That's cool beans! Oh yeah, new hair do!

Hmm...what else is new with me? Um, oh yeah! I started losing my voice Sunday night and by Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday it was completely gone. Yesterday was the first day I could speak instead of whisper and now I can actually hit notes when I sing! I thank you all for the prayers. I could tell that the good Lord was working His wonders on me. I'll be able to record the album with "Innerlight" tomorrow and make beautiful music with my baby! I'm singing vocals on one of the songs he wrote for the band. We're gonna record some more tunes as well to be able to compile into a CD for Cry Out at Faith Church St. Louis. Check out the Cry Out Myspace Page for details of the event....you should come! http://www.myspace.com/cryoutonline
I leave for Milwaukee on Sunday. I'll stay up to date on here because I'm sure I'll be bored in the hotel all alone and can't call Paulie until 9pm. Ugh. He's gonna be out of town as well so it kind of worked out in a way. We'll be so happy to see each other Friday night it won't even be funny. Nah, it probably will be funny cuz we act pretty goofy when we're around each other. :)
Oh, wedding stuff:
New date...earlier than expected. September instead of December.
We registered for gifts! We're registered at Target, Walmart, and Kohls. That made so much stuff real for us. Shopping for our home...it was special. :)
Still haven't shopped for my dress. Need to do that. SOON!
Secured the reception hall.
Pretty much found a photographer.
Finalizing guest list tonight.
Writing the invitation wording tonight.
Ah...almost there! :)
Anyway, back to looking up honeymoon stuff.
Peace & Love.