Emily Update.

So, I've been blogging a little more recently and I'm starting to enjoy it again. 2011 was not the year for blogging for me, but I definitely became a more faithful journal writer. God definitely stretched me and molded me this past year and I am grateful to have that entire year documented in a notebook. :)

But I have decided to keep the ol' blog alive. In addition to By God's Grace, I have also picked up another writing endeavor at We are the Burning Ones... where I bring up topics regarding the Bible, sound teachings, and ministry life. I try to not to dive into too many personal things there, but I know that it is hard for me to separate my faith and beliefs anywhere I write or go for that matter.

Any hoo, after almost a month of the Daniel Fast (Jentzen Franklin's 21 day fast to get your edge back)...

My food intake for almost a month...

I have been working out pretty consistently for 2 weeks now. I lost about 10 lbs but I also lost a lot of muscle because of the lack of protein...doh! I have been running on a tread-mill, stretching, toning my arms with free-weights, and working on my abs with pilates. I feel great! I am excited to see the results in about a month. I think the best thing you can do to get consistent with working out is finding a schedule that works for you and stick with it. If you set time aside to do it, it will be easier to stay motivated since you have an allotted time slot for it.

Same goes for your prayer life also. If you set aside time where you know you won't be disturbed and you can get alone with the Lord, you will be eager to keep building that relationship with Him. You will notice a difference in your attitude and the way you treat people when you spend time with God. I notice such a peace and a joy when I spend time in the Lord's presence, whether talking to Him or just sitting in the quiet, candles lit, and waiting on Him. There is no other word to describe it then peaceful. And in the world that we live in today, we could use some of that kind of peace. The Bible calls it a "peace that passes all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

So between those 2 things, I have been keeping myself pretty busy. Paulie has 2 jobs (he's my workin man) and about 3-4 days out of the week, we don't see each other up until he slips into bed with me. Sometimes I am awake enough to chat with him, other times I am just able to kiss

him goodnight when he comes home, and some times I am just conked out snoozing away. It has been hard, but nothing that we can't handle. We appreciate every moment that we can get and don't take any of it for grant it. Because of that, our marriage is so alive and strong.

Monday-Wednesday this week was the stretch of time where we only saw each other before bed, so tonight is special for us. He gets off at 5 and I couldn't be more excited! :) After I work out, I am gonna shower, and curl my hair for him and make him dinner. I love taking care of Paulie. He works so hard for us. I'm not too big on Valentine's Day because it makes it seem like that is the only day a couple should shower each other with love. I try to treat my husband like that all the time.

Me and my hubs a few weeks ago on one of our "off night, date nights" :)

Show love. Give love. Live love. Always.

Peace&Love.

Em

Friday daze

Got a chance to sleep in a little bit this morning (bc my boss rocks) and find myself wanting to cuddle up next to the heater and take a nap already.

Not feeling up to working full force today. Haven't been for the last few days actually. Kinda funny cuz I almost drove to the Wrecked building this morning instead of work so that shows you where my heart lies right now. I want to immerse myself in worship sets and write music all day long. But alas, God has placed me here in this season to verify insurance benefits and schedule appointments. Lol. Such a calling! Sorry for being fecisious. Health insurance just isn't the most exciting to work with.

I'm just having one of those days where I almost get sick thinking of this season lasting another 4 years (at least our plan for now) until I get to be a stay at home mom (my true calling). But must remain patient and in faith that God has it all under control. My sour attitude today probably has something to do with denying myself natural pleasures for almost 2 weeks now. How I crave chocolate! Oh well...it's good for me.

At least more puzzle pieces are coming together for Paul's true calling. He has always wanted to be a cop and now that he is 21 he can finally go through the Academy. The next class doesn't start until January so God is moving some stuff around to make it all possible for him to go to school and graduate from the Academy...big steps for a homeschooler who has never attended public school! I will help him though. Who knew I would get to enjoy the stresses of college all over again! Haha. But it is cuz I love my hubs that we will do it together.

Keep ya posted on this transition....

Peace&love.

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Icky.

Yesterday is a blur. Mostly because I slept the majority of it once I got home from work. I think I saw Paul for about an hour total last night. He got home late (as usual) and I was semi-conscious when he came in the bedroom where I laid coughing my head off.

I honestly hate feeling weak. I can confess that "I'm healed in Jesus' name" til I'm blue in the face, but it doesn't make the symptoms suck any less.

Because of the cough and icky sticky mucus in my throat, I can't sing this weekend at church. As a singer, if you can't use your voice, it drives you nutty! Oh well...at least my ears still work so I can still listen to music. That would suck royally if those weren't working too!

I think I'm also getting to the point of my favorite part of the month...hormonal imbalance! Grrrreat!!! lol I was on a call today talking to a patient about how unfair/unjust health insurance companies are and I was so frustrated by the end of the call, that I started crying! Thankful I am in the office alone today. I regained composure and got on with the rest of my day. Is it Friday yet???

I could say that I just need rest, but that is just dumb since I spent a total of 14 hours in bed last night.

Maybe burnt out at work? Who knows...

I will leave you with this awesome video...maybe watching it will help me boost up my day and hopefully your's too!

Peace&Love.

Em

I am going to TRY to do this more...

I guess I used to blog more when I was unemployed because I had more time then. Not so much now but I'm gonna give it a try since work is slow today.



So...The wedding is over! Thank God! :P It was a loooooonnnnggg process, but it was memorable. It's kind of funny when you have so many different expectations for a day like that and when everything pans out, it was nothing like you imagined it. But I believe that's what makes it special. Like it's your own unique experience that no one else would ever be able to explain but you.



And boy, was it an experience! Brittany was amazing as usual. She put up with my small (and I say SMALL) Bridezilla moments during the rehearsal. But I guess you couldn't blame me since I was pretty much producing my own wedding day. It was exhausting to say the least. Maybe that's why they have wedding planners. They are probably the go-to people when someone else has a question of "what the bride wants."

The DJ was bad. Really bad. But we managed to request good songs so he couldn't play bad ones which happened a few times throughout the night. I can't get over how many weird 80s songs he played! "Safety dance?" I don't even think that song was out when I was born. LOL And most DEFINITELY when Paulie was born.

But the day went by so fast and I had a wonderful night with Paul and all of my friends and family. That night we stayed at the Millenium Hotel in downtown StL. We ordered room service and just enjoyed time alone together for the first time in a good month or so. We spent a few days in Chicago after that and froze our butts off! It was just nice to spend time with him away from our hectic lives. We don't get to do that very often.

Since the wedding, I've been involved in the Christmas production at church. Playing the VIRGIN Mary is a little funny when the entire congregation knows you just got married! lol Along with rehearsals, I've been singing my butt off at almost every service we've had, tried to squeeze in Christmas shopping, and keeping the apartment organized and clean. So I've been busy to say the least...

Last night was the 1st performance of our Christmas production at Faith Church and it went off without a hitch! It was said that around 1500 people were there in our tiny building that seats 800. It was a PACKED house! After the performance we went to Steak n Shake to celebrate my birthday...that's right a birthday is also in this crazy December month! I'm 24 now. I do feel older. Maybe not health or physical appearance wise but adult-wise. No Christmas break. I worked on my birthday for the first time in my life. I think at that point in time birthdays start feeling like any other boring day. I mean, I knew it was birthday but I still started my day the same. Got to work, ate lunch at my desk, answered phones and stupid questions from crazies, and rushed home to get ready for church. Same ol' same ol'. I was bummed a little b/c Paul's been out of town since Monday. :(

BUT, he will be home tonight and he promised that he would sing Happy Birthday to me and help me eat the amazing red velvet cake my lil sister made me. I miss him.

Anyway, Christmas is 2 days away and I can't wait for it to get here!

Merry Christmas and Have an Amazing New Year as well!

Rainy Days and Mon...wait, no...Fridays?

I'm really tired of the rain. Fall is my favorite season, but not so far. I'm ready for the crisp air and falling leaves. Right now the leaves just stick to the mushy ground. Blech.

It IS good weather for Bread Company's Brocoli Cheddar soup! :) Totally cravin it today (even though I ate some yesterday). It just tastes so good!

57 more days y'all! Finished a bunch of stuff the other day (wrote up the program, made a wedding rehearsal/wedding day schedule for the gals, and have been handing out invites as best as I can at church.) Still have about 10 more to do, but since no one is really RSVPing as they get their invite, I guess it's not a big deal. I'm SO ready for the day to get here. The planning has been fun, but I'm just ready to be married. All the dresses are ready to go...well, almost ready. I have my bustle appointment on Monday and some of the girls still need to get alterations/pick up there dress.

Dealin with a little bridesmaid issue, hope to get it resolved soon, but when phonecalls, texts, and facebook messages aren't returned, I don't know what to do. Trying to not let it steal my peace. I'm sure the enemy intends it to. But it's not gonna happen! Everything will work out. Saving up money. Praying to have it all by Dec. I'm sure we will, but it's hard to do it on our own. *Sigh*

Got asked to play Mary in our Christmas program last night. I was really happy that they asked me since our church is made up of almost 5,000 members and you know it's always nuts around Christmas. It'll be the biggest audience I've ever performed in front of most definitely. Was a little bummed since I was asked to sing 'Where are you Christmas' by Faith Hill, but maybe next year.

oH well..here's to this rainy Friday!

Week 2 of this out of town business...

Updated: 7/29/09....COVINGTON PLACE WAS A CRAP-HOLE!!! DON'T RENT THERE!!!!

Well, day 3 in week number 2 of Paul's adventure 3 hours away from me and I'm missing him like crazy...as usual.

To keep my mind off of that, I've been gearing up for the next step in my life and our life together. I got pre-approved for an apartment in South County which is not even 5 seconds from the South County Mall...woohoo! It's really cute and totally in our price range.





A pic of the living room and a little of the dining area and kitchen...


Here's the lovely in-ground pool and fitness center...

There are sooo many good things about it. Only 20 minutes from work. About 10 minutes from church! And did I mention it was like 5 SECONDS from the Mall!!! :) So many great places around to eat. Still gotta find out where the nearest grocery store is, but at this point, I've 2 right by my work so that wouldn't be a huge deal whatsoever. There's access to the pool, fitness center, and tanning bed. Awesomeness.

I feel like such a grown-up. I got approved all by myself. No co-signer or anything! That makes me feel really good about myself.

So I've been making lists upon lists of necessities. I feel like I've lived this life before...Ana knows what I'm talking about...planning for LA was an ordeal and a half and I visited craigslist on a regular basis.

But now the big question is when? When do I move forward to start this new life? I wanted to do September, but I feel like God is putting it on my heart to wait until October only to make it easier on the both of us. I'd get one more month to put some more dough back for the wedding/honeymoon. That is a constant thing on my brain. Constant. By the end of August, I'll have plenty, but always want a cushion. *Sigh*

Keep pushing forward.

Peace and Love.

When did I grow up?

I stayed home today because my body was screaming at me to do so. I've been running myself ragged for over a month and my immune system is definitely showing it. But it was nice to get a chance to sleep in, clean my messy room, put away laundry that has been sitting for a week, and do some ironing. *Sigh*

Sometimes I wonder whose life I'm leading since it's changed so drastically in one year. Can you believe that one year ago I was getting ready to graduate college? I can't. It seems like yesterday, but at the same time, it feels like forever ago. I'm now getting ready for marriage. It's weird how life works. You get used to something for a few years and then suddenly, your life takes a turn and you're older. Most people, like me, are in gradeschool for 6-7 years, then junior high for 2-3 years, high school for 4 years, and then college for 4-6, and some people continue schooling for 2-5 more years after that. Each time you reach a new level of education, your environment changes, your mindset changes. And each time, you have to get used to the person you are becoming.

I've noticed over and over again that I am not the Emily of a year ago. God did some MAJOR changes to my heart and mind this year and oddly enough, it began shortly after I escaped the grip of education. I no longer could look to the instituation of education to define me. I wasn't a freshman, sophomore, junior, or senior any more. I wasn't a cheerleader, band-o, SETO officer, or theatre major. I eventually started to lose the title of "actress" as well. I had to learn how to be Emily Rose. Just me. And let me tell you....it's hard to find yourself when you have been told who you are by someone else your whole life. I'm reminded of the labeling every single time I log onto facebook and I'm bombarded by people from my past. Pictures, stories of cast-parties, and people complaining about writing papers and freaking out about projects that are due. I work now. Yep. I spend my days working in an office, in front of a computer and answering phones. A job I NEVER thought I would be good at, let alone enjoy. But I do and that weirds me out to no end! :) I also spend my nights volunteering at church. Performing silly skits for the kids in the Kids of Faith Ministry and singing with the youth band, Innerlight. And in between work and church, I spend time with my best friend, my fiance, Paul.

I have come to a place where it's okay that I don't have a million friends that I spend all my time with. I'm completely content with what and who God has given me to play out my days. My life is simple, yet it keeps me busy. I am who I am and I wouldn't ever want to change that.

*Sigh* I'm not really sure what this blog was about, but I know that every time I catch a glimpse of my past on facebook, I feel the need to announce the change that has entered my life. I don't party anymore, I don't really act in plays or musicals (or even have the desire...which is REALLY weird), I don't really enjoy watching plays anymore either (I don't know why that is either). I have reached another level of life called ADULTHOOD.

But I'm left wondering...when did I grow up?

May God's Blessings continue to flow!!!

Things have really started to pick up speed in the last few days.

First off, I got the job! Thank you Jesus!!!! I will be managing the office at National Pedorthic Services in Creve Cour, MO. Nice pay and awesome benefits! I fly out to Milwaukee on the 15th to the corporate office for a week of training and then come back to StL for another week of training. I feel so professional to have a business trip for my job! :) And the amazing thing about this trip is that it is only 40 minutes away from Chicago...and I'm flying out on my friend Jenn's birthday so I'll get to see her when she turns the big 25! How perfect His timing is!

Next, a lot more wedding stuff is falling into place. And at a very uncostly way! :) Always good! My mom, Paul's mom, and a couple of my girls are gonna go looking for wedding dresses next weekend...can't wait to try them on! :) December will be here before I know it!

And last, but not least, I get my first ever brand NEW car (no miles, never ever touched before, no one else's butt ever in the seat) tonight after work...actually in a couple hours. I'll post some real pictures later, but here is the stock photo of it on the Hyundai website:

I'll most definitely have to prominently display my engagement ring when driving this sexy beast! Ow ow!

Everything is just working out. It's been a rough past few months, but the dawn is finally here! Paul and I are stronger than ever and enjoy every moment we get to spend together (which is rare outside of church funcitions Sunday-Thursday). We never take a millo-second for grant it. We had such a great time last night goofing around at White Castle after youth. I giggled and laughed so hard, I snorted.

I love that he's a big ol' dork like me! He'll let me pose him just to get a laugh. :) He's my favorite.

Anyway, life is good. Getting better every day. Things are new and different, not like the past several years of my life at all, but I'm really enjoying this new chapter. It's fun and very spontaneous.

I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed weekend. Relax and enjoy life!

Peace & Love.

My heart's in a funny place right now.

Have you ever stared at your destiny right in the face? I did this weekend.

I would be in Los Angeles, CA today, but God intervined. My dear friend Ana moved there yesterday to pursue her dreams and I'm so proud of her.

I tried not to cry, but I couldn't help myself. I will miss her deeply.

May God keep her safe and full of peace and joy.

I was SUPPOSED to go with her. I was SUPPOSED to be an actress on the west coast. I was SUPPOSED to be single and an independent career woman. But like I said before, God intervined. I have no regrets. I have no doubts. I just have a place in my heart that is soft and in awe of God's work in my life.

If you want to see evidence of change, read my blogs from early September. I"m continuously getting used to me. My mom understood probably more than anyone in my life when I came to her the other night with my confusion. "It was a fast change. It happened so quickly," she said. And it did. This wasn't years of work, this was a mere matter of months for my heart to change like it did. And I'm completely left with my mouth gaping open.

I'm not sad right now. I'm just longing to be held by my amazing fiance. When I'm away from him, all I can do is think of when we will be together again. You see, that was MY dream long before acting came into the picture. A dream of having a family. A dream of falling love with the man of my dreams. Praise God for making this dream a reality for me!

On the good news list this week:

***There is a possibility I might have a job soon! It's at an orthodic (they sell orthopedics for people's shoes and whatnot) Dr. office in St. Louis where I would be working as a receptionist there. Scheduling appointments, answering phones, and talking to other Dr. offices. Keep me in your prayers. This job would offer me benefits and great pay. AND I'd get to work with adults! Something I have no idea about.

I really just wanted something to keep me busy while I'm awaiting marriage. I'm usually busy at night, but during the day, I'm ready to go crazy. It's been 2 months of this. And I'm ready for a change of pace...PLEASE!

It's funny because the wedding is pretty much already planned. Just the matter of paying for things and buying things. But the money isn't just going to come as soon as I snap my fingers. It's still gonna take a little while. *sigh*

That's about it. Just taking it one day at a time and getting used to the changes that come.

Peace & Love.

Searching from the inside...

So I've come to realize that I no longer can look to what I do to define who I am. I can't really claim to be an actress anymore. Because that would require me to work towards that identity every day. And frankly, I haven't done much to further my career in quite some time. It's not that I got lazy, I just had other things and experiences that became more important to me.

I guess above all, my time has been spent at Faith Church. And because of that lifestyle choice, I know more about what it means to be a Christian. I've totally submersed myself in the mentality of a Christian and the life-decisions and actions of a Christian. I know there is always more that I could do: read my Bible and pray for longer periods of time and stop criticizing how other Christians are doing on their walk. I want nothing more than to do good and help others.

I guess when nothing's wrong, I find myself (because of habit) looking for error, looking for lack. My finances could be better, but the money is on it's way. The perfect job is on it's way. I just need to do more about looking for it. Right now, I have 2 tutoring jobs and a nanny job on Fridays. It's enough to get me by. But I want to use more of my time to make an impact on someone's life.

*sigh*

Anyhoo. Life is at a good pace. Nothing sucking, nothing too crazy. I'm in love and enjoying each day.

Peace & Love.

Update on Emily Rose.

Well, if it means much of anything to anyone, I am probably at the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I think it's because I have so many ah-mazing things to look forward to. I could take the time to list them all, but I'd rather you all be surprised when they actually happen instead of everyone and their brother knowing my biz-nazz like usual. I've realized that being an open-book comes with a price and I've been taken advantage of recently by putting my life on display.

So I'm going to stick to vagueness until I feel comfortable enough to get more detailed with some things. The people who are super super close to me will know soon enough about everything that's been going on in my life. Honestly, all you have to do is ask.

So as I was saying, I'm ridiculously happy. Like freakishly happy. Stupid happy. Hahaha...

A lot of that has to do with my faith and God sending me angels to help pick me up when life's struggles knock me down. You know who you are. For one, Paul has been a God-send, honestly. I'm not going to hide it. He really is the most amazing man I've ever met in my entire life and it has nothing to do with the fact that he is my boyfriend or soul-mate. I was in awe of him the first time we spoke. He is so genuine, warm, funny, and caring. And so many other qualities of course... ;) I never thought a love like this would exist for me until much later in life...once I had my career secured and I was close to 30. God had other plans for me. Thank goodness. I don't think I could have waited that long!

Some of you know I've had a big change of heart lately as far as my career path is concerned. And I know many of you are worried that I'm giving up or settling, but I tell you all: it's okay, I am doing all of this because I WANT TO. I feel God asking me to use my talents here in St. Louis. And not JUST my acting, singing, or dancing talents, but my brains and my integrity. If I'm supposed to move, He'll let me know and it will be painfully obvious. I'm tired of trying to MAKE things happen on my own. It's exhausting to tell you the truth. Believe me, I've been doing it for over 20 years. The tail-end of 22 has shown the transitions and year 23 will be different. I will forever listen to Him and live my life to impact and change other lives for the better. Amen! :)

Let's just say I'm going back to my roots before a certain someone entered my life and changed the way I lived my life. I'm building upon the good that was laid down long before I got to SIUE. Back when I wanted the white-picket fence lifestyle. I don't know why I used to bash that so much...maybe it was because I secretly wanted it but didn't think God was gonna send me the husband any time soon. Boy I really had no idea, did I?!

Life is just ah-mazing right now. Really, honestly. I know some terrible things have happened recently, but God has managed to turn it all into good and I'm being protected and taken care of. I applied for a position at Sylvan Learning Center in Edwardsville as a Teacher's Assistant. I really like tutoring. I started tutoring independently back in October and the kid's mom just told me that he raised his English grade (the class he needed the most help in) from a D to a B! That made my day today! There is physical proof that I am making a difference with my time and talents that God has given me. That's awesome! So I'm praying that I get this job and it will help me save money and build my resume a little for some things I want to pursue within the next few years as far as my career is concerned.

I'm going to most likely take a year off from theatre. I might do some small independent films here and there, but for the most part I need a break for a little bit. I need more time for family, Paul, and planning for some HUGE changes in my life. I also need more time for church. I'm auditioning for the youth band on Thursday (FINALLY!), acting with the drama ministry, helping in the TV department with Paulie on Tuesdays, and answering phones on Sunday mornings after the TV programs end. It feels good to do new things. Especially if they are helping people!

So that's about it...for now of course! :) If you're happy and you know it