Beach dreaming.

A patient today asked me when I got married. When I told him December, he asked why. I briefly told him that when Paul and I started dating and talking about marriage, we always pictured a December wedding. I didn't tell him that God prompted me about December 5th based on a poem I wrote to my soul-mate, but he I think I answered his question efficiently.

I then said something about our honeymoon and jokingly said, "Yeah, he (Paul) owes me a trip to the beach soon."

Then as soon as the patient left, I started day-dreaming of the ocean. Paul and I didn't travel to Mexico, The Bahamas, or even sunny Florida for our honeymoon. We simply could not afford it. We had to pull together enough money for the wedding and new apartment expenses. So we figured it didn't matter where we went. As long as we were together. And that's how I will forever remember it. Our lives were so hectic at the time, that cuddling in the bed in our hotel room on a cold, windy, icy December in Chicago was all we needed. Yep, me and Paul bundled up watching the Sci-Fi channel's "Scare Tactics" with Tracy Morgan. :) Still makes me laugh.

But as we approach warmer weather, I can't help but dream of the beach. There is just something so calming and beautiful about the ocean. You just feel so small beside it. And I believe God intended it to be that way. It's one of the coolest ways for God to make you realize that you can't do everything, you need Him, and that you enjoy His marvelous wonders.

I miss the beach tremendously. Paul and I got a chance to walk along the beach in January 2009 during a youth conference, but it wasn't very warm to go swimming. There's something amazing about BEING in the ocean too. Water all around you for miles and miles and miles. Neverending. Like heaven. Neverending and glorious.

Maybe someday Paul and I will be able to take a vacation together (before kids) and enjoy some time away from work and church.

This is week 5 away from him. He'll be gone until June 1st. *Sigh* I just miss BEING with him. No pressures or deadlines or practices or meetings or appointments or WORK. Just us and time.
Ah, that sounds awesome. :) It's always just the little things that I appreciate. Time is all I want with him.

Soon. I know that God is using this time to bless us and make us stronger. We're building up our nest egg and by the time our lease is up we will have more than enough for a down payment. And when I think of our house, it makes it alllll worth it. :)

Here's to beach dreaming in the meantime...

Peace & Love.

Mondays are...

blah when it is rainy and gloomy outside and you'd rather be at home cuddled in bed with your hubby.

But alas, this is not an option at this time of day.

Nope.

Found a new project to work on...I'm going to "blurb" our wedding album. I think it's much easier to display on a coffee table then a big ol' chunky photo album. I probably will find some way to use my scrapbooking skills to create a more "hands on" type of album, but I feel like I could definitely tell our story through pictures and words using this type of publishing tool. So, we'll see how much time it will take up. I'm not good a projects that take take time to complete. I like the kind that I can complete in one sitting. This will teach me patience and time management. :)

I realize how starving my artist side is lately. I have always thrived at picture collages and scrapbooking and creative writing: none of which I have done in a long time. And I miss it.

Need to find some time to try...

What projects are you working on in your spare time?

Enjoying the time in between.

When we have goals that we are striving to reach, the hardest part is the time in between. The waiting can sometimes drive us crazy and we seem to be moving so slowly towards our destination.

But the most important thing to do when you start getting antsy is to just stop and smell the roses so to speak. Enjoy this precious time! We get so wrapped up in where we want to be, that we forget this "molding/shaping" process God is doing on us!

Paul and I spent a majority of our relationship looking ahead. Of course we loved every minute spent planning the wedding, but our focus was CONSTANTLY on the preparation of December 5th. I had put so much time and effort in planning that wedding that the day itself was hard for me to enjoy. If I could have afforded it, I would have hired a wedding coordinator. But I had it in my mind that I didn't NEED a wedding planner. Which is partially true. I didn't need a PLANNER, but I surely could have used someone to act as the orchestrator for it all. That person ended up being me. I made it out alive, but a stressed out mess. By the end of the night, I was SO EXHAUSTED. Sadly, that word is a big understatement. Really happy and excited, but EXHAUSTED.

So that's my perfect example of missing out on the now...the present moment.

But here we are, almost 3 months of marriage and it's everything that I've wished, hoped, and prayed for. I get to be with my best friend at almost every single moment of the day and night! Maybe my slight bitterness towards my wedding day can be paralelled with what we would say in the theatre..."Bad dress rehearsal means PERFECT Opening Night!" LOL. I try not to talk about my wedding day experience because I may sound like a drama queen or a negative Nancy, but it's the hardest when I see all my friends getting the chance to plan their wedding and that day is approaching for them. There will always be some type of event in our lives that we wished we could try again, but when it comes down to it....I'M STILL MARRIED TO THE MAN OF MY DREAMS! AND NO MATTER WHAT OUR WEDDING DAY WAS LIKE I'M STILL MADLY, DEEPLY COMMITTED TO AND IN LOVE WITH MY HUSBAND!

Are there other women out there that sometime feel the same way? Did you absolutely love every single moment of your wedding day or did you have some mishaps take place that you wished didn't occur? Ex from my wedding: our DJ SUCKED! He didn't play any slow songs so there aren't any pictures of our parents dancing together. He didn't really announce the cutting of the cake, bouquet toss, or garter toss, so many people missed out. My friend Ana got caught in Christmas shopping traffic on the way to the reception so she didn't make her entrance with us. I was so frazzeled during the photo session at the church that I failed to realize that I needed a photo with the WHOLE wedding party, not just us separate. lol Paul's parents weren't present for photos (either mine or Paul's fault..who knows). My train bustle ripped in the car. Paul looked nervous in almost all of the pictures. I didn't decorate the hall as best as I could, but the night before I was maxed out and tired and couldn't help but say "screw it." lol I could list more but like I said, why be a negative nancy? WE'RE STILL MARRIED. Gotta tell myself that and not get jealous of other people's beautiful days. Our family always did put the FUN in dysfunctional.

Oh well. I need to just be happy with today. Not worry about yesterday and realize tomorrow will take care of itself with the help of my Heavenly Father. Probably just havin one of those days.

Wants and desires gone astray

It must have been a wild hair up my bottom but I got this intense desire to begin networking and sending my resume and headshots off to agencies again. In St. Louis. I caught a bite from Talent-Plus in Summer 2007, but nothing came of it. It wasn't supposed to happen I guess.

This time, I didn't want to network strictly as an actor, but as a model. I don't know if it is my fancination with photography or what, but I wanted to be a print model yesterday. lol I have this thing about me that I would describe as "determination mixed with crack." I don't do much thinking, I just GO! I get an idea and I don't discuss it with anyone...you know, like my husband (that would have been smart), but take matters into my own hands and map it all out and do it. I found some pictures that still look like me (thankfully growing out my hair makes me look like my headshots from 2007 again), and updated my resume with my new name...which sounds SO MUCH cooler than Mollet, lol. Emily Rose Massey...yes, has a good ring to it.

I got so pumped up about this that I didn't even take the time to focus on the logistics of it all. How do you work a 9-5 and make this happen? When are auditions held? Would Paul freak if some man (gay or straight) wanted to take pictures of me for 3 hours straight? What kind of atmosphere would I be getting myself into? Would this help or worsen my pride issues that I continue to deal with every day (like Paul the apostle said "I die every day.")? Would this help or worsen my body image (I have curves and I embrace them but I'm not a plus-sized model by any means)? Would this take up my whole attention so much so that I wouldn't be able to focus on my involvement at Faith Church? How much time would it take to begin making a portfolio?

So I talked to Paul about it on my way home from praise team rehearsal and to my demise, I was hit with truth and a strong taste of realism. My life is different. I have to just swallow it right now. If I wanted to re-open this door, I would let a flood of harmful behaviors from my past tempt me and haunt me. After Paul and I talked and talked and talked and I cried and cried and cried, I realized that I have a man in my life who loves me so much that he wants to keep me from hurting myself and make sure that I don't slip back into the lifestyle that was "normal" for me years ago. And I'm here to tell you, I don't want to be in love with myself, I don't want it to be okay for gay men to rub up against me at dance clubs or grab my butt, I don't want to get wrapped up in the party/drinking atmosphere, I don't want to forget out my maker and try to do it all on my own. And because of my "determation mixed with crack" attitude I know it would be difficult for me not to give that career path my all and risk losing all that I've gained this past year. And to clarify myself: I'm NOT saying that being a model or actress or entertainer is a path for sinners. I know some AH-MAZING Christian artists out there who can do it all. God has graced them with management and priorizing skills. And that is something that I struggle with.

Not all of Paul and I's conversation last night was frustrating, I actually reached a point of clarity with him. I told him that I can't keep things from him that I am unsure about how he may feel towards it. And that is theatre/acting in my life. It was the one thing that he almost lost me because it clouded my mind from him. Not any more. He's my world. I am so blessed to be married to this man. My life is forever changed because we met and I'm so grateful for that. But I'm here to say....I miss it. I'm not gonna lie. I honestly miss the stage...but not for the reason I used to love it: giving me any opportunity to be in love with myself and tell everyone how amazing I was...but because of the pure passion and enjoyment of the art. The honest and pure love for theatre...the stage. I am finally coming at this topic telling you all that the yoke of pride has been removed (but pride is never fully removed because we are human) and I'm ready to come back to the stage for the right reasons. The friendships that last for a lifetime, the art, the music, the dancing, the laughter, the priveledge to showcase the talents God has blessed us with. When I stand on the stage, I don't want them to see me. I want them to see Him in me. I give all of the credit to my Creator. The one who made me the way I am with the gifts and talents that I did not acheive but received from Him. All glory and honor goes to my Heavenly Father.

So here's the thing. I have not been in a secular play since November 2008. This is the longest I have gone since I began acting in 2001. Wow. I'm aching for a musical really bad. But I do not want to just take whatever show comes up. I want it to be completely obvious that I need to be involved in that show. The shows they are performing at SIUE this summer do not intrigue me and I'd have to throw together an audition piece by the end of this month. Which probably wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm just not that excited about their season. Plus, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be pretty involved in this year's women's conference at Faith Church and I want to be. So I guess the biggest thing about this is that I'm making a confession that is surprising myself. I do not HATE theatre/acting/performing. I hate what it can turn people into (because it was alllll about me and I made a mess of my life with the choices I was making).

There is one show that I still have a picture of on my shelf. All of the characters I've played and shows I have done and there is only 1 picture left that I choose to display. And that show is 1940s Radio Hour. That show will forever have a special place in my heart. Mostly because of the friends I made and the memories I have of our rehearsals and cast parties. We bonded. Completely bonded. I still remain friends with many of the cast members. I haven't stayed as closely in touch with them as I'd like, but I was planning a wedding for almost a year. But I miss so many of my Hard Road and Summer Showbiz peeps. I'm not sure if I will venture into St. Louis theatre, but the Lord only knows where He will take me.

For now, I'm enjoying my life right now in the moment. I have the most WONDERFUL husband, family, and church family. My co-workers treat me like family and my hard work doesn't go unnoticed. That is such a blessing.

So here's to revelation and a fresh outlook on my forgotten artform!

Have a blessed weekend everyone!
Peace&Love.

Having another one of those...

growing-up-sucks-moments.

I'm also extremely hormonal so that does not help either.

I'm not going to try to complain in this post, but TRY to just talk.

I have had massive headaches, all-day-long headaches, for the past month and on and off again headaches for probably the past 4. I know that there are several reasons for these headaches, stress, caffeine withdrawls, lack of water, lack of sleep, poor diet, and finally have figured out the big one...old lenses prescription...7 years old. No wonder I have had these headaches! My eyes are like..."You idiot! We are so tired...what are you doing to us??!!!"

So I stayed home today to rest those strained eyeballs and get an eye exam scheduled ASAP. Because lenses are so friggin expensive, I've got to dip into my savings, which is for the wedding. And that is where my stress comes from...saving up for the biggest day of my entire life. It seems like everywhere I turn, I'm having trouble with saving up. I spend 300 is gas alone every month just to get to work. I'm still commuting and it is the one thing I loathe more than anything. I'm staying in New Baden just to save on money because of rent issues. *Sigh*

Meanwhile in the land of Emily Rose...my brain sends me around in circles. When I end up talking to Paul about it, I sound crazy because I repeat myself without meaning to. It also doesn't help because I'm constantly wishing I was younger. I find myself wanting to go back to the days where all I had to worry about was waking up to go to class. Maybe as humans we are never satisified with our circumstances. And that's where I get the most frustrated. I was so happy to graduate last May and leave the stress of college behind me. What about being happy to leave the stressful auditions behind me as well? Several months ago, I would have killed to have a job and save me from my facebook and blogging boredom. Not to mention the nanny days...boooorrrrinnggg....

And yet, here I sit, whining about how I hate being a grown-up. How I miss summer vacation. How I miss performing in Disney's High School Musical with everyone. How I miss listening to music and journaling all day long. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because it's July and I should be swimming and playing outside. I have experienced full-time work for the first time in my life and I got so caught up in that, that I almost forgot it was summer. Sitting in an office at a computer was not what I wanted for my life, but it's what will do for now as we save up for a life together. *Sigh* Do we all wish to be kids again? I love having Paul. If I could have that and be a kid at the same time, I think that would be my idea of heaven. And maybe that's what heaven is like. A life as a child with no stress or worldly obligations such as work, bills, or health problems.

Yes, I'm having one of those days today. Questioning my future. Questioning my desires. Questioning myself and my passions. Putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that God knows best. It's just so difficult to sit "here" when you want to be "there." Wherever "there" is...I have no idea.

Another day goes by...

"Close the door, Emily."

"If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want. They must be willing even to give up their lives to follow me.” Matthew 16:24

Yesterday was a day for enlightment from my heavenly Father...chapter 4, I think. Chapter 1 was "Don't Move to LA!" Chapter 2 was "Pursue Your Dream as a Wife." Chapter 3 was "Become a Teacher." But I seemed to misinterpret Chapter 3, I think. I figured that meant "go back to school, get certified to teach speech/theatre, Emily." But that was easy way to become a teacher for the world, not the Lord. Last night I was wrestling with the concept of where theatre fit into my life...the NEW chapter of my life. I realized that when I used to perform (outside of church), I became selfish, prideful, and overly-confident. Getting cast or receiving the compliments and good reviews made me feel good about myself. I always wanted more, but never felt satisfied. When theatre became the center of my life, I pushed God further and further away from my mind. I couldn't see myself teaching other students to seek that kind of self-centeredness and prideful existence. So I thought, "hmm...teaching English suits me better!"

But as I woke up this morning, I had this weird feeling in my stomach about going back to school for another 2 years. "More stress and more debt," I heard. I know that God doesn't want us to get further into debt because He's helping us get out of it by sending me this inheritence. For Paul and I to fiancially work this out, I'd have to work 9-5 and go to school at night until probably 11pm and not get home until midnight and very rarely get to see him or spend time with him at our 2nd home, Faith Church St. Louis. That doesn't sound like God's plan for me at all! So I think this new "enlightened chapter" goes likes this... Chapter 4: "Grow Deeper to Guide My Sheep." I am feeling pulled to teach for the Lord....as a leader in my church's ministry. I don't know how crazy that sounds to people who knew me or know me.

Your dominant gifts are Pastor/Shepherd, Showing Mercy, Administration

The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING! The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church.
As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you.
You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs.
People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale.
Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? This gift is a great help in many areas. You may serve as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor or assistant pastor, bus captain, special ministry leader (such as youth, children, men, etc.), nursery worker or as a half-way house or other type shelter volunteer. You may consider serving as a dormitory leader in a college, orphanage, children's home, etc. Scout troops would appreciate your assistance as a den leader.

I didn't make this decision based solely on this assessment. Actually, I took this assessment back in January when I still thought I was supposed to teach theatre. I took the assessment for my volunteer work at the church and I now realize that my passion for this ministry goes much deeper than just volunteering on Thursdays and Sundays. I want to be a shepardess for the rest of my life. I want to be a TEACHER for the Lord. Teach others about His Grace and Mercy.
I think when I chose God and His blessings along with that decision (Paul, new friends, an awesome church family, and a stronger relationship with my own family), my old involvement in theatre changed. I began to use my talents God blessed me with to praise Him, not myself. I sang for Him, danced for Him, and interpreted for Him through my acting skills. I've felt more accomplished using those gifts at Faith Church than any other place I've performed. And God isn't going to let my degree go to waste. I may have taken those matters into my own hands back in 2005, but He will use it for good. I believe I will continue to sing at Faith Church and praise Him, and I also believe I will eventually direct the dramas along with performing in them if they need me.

So I've never felt more at peace in my entire life. I know this new role I'm supposed to take on will not be happening right away. But I truly believe I will be in preparation for the next 2-3 years. I must grow deeper. I must learn more about God to eventually be able to tell others all about Him. I must learn more about His word. I must want to seek Him even when things get difficult. I believe this is going to be an amazing journey. And I'm ready for the ride!

Peace & Love.

Nothing I'd do would amount to anything without LOVE.

Yesterday's interview went very well. The Dr. who owns the office is friends with my mom and text her right after the interview and said "I LOVE EMILY!!!" So, I don't know about you, but I think it's in my favor and I'll have a new job in no time! :)

As soon as I got home, I began to make a budget (I crunched so many numbers my brain hurt) and planned things for the wedding. Paul and I realized that we care more about our marriage moreso than the actual wedding, so we see no reason to spend $10,000 on one day. Don't get me wrong, I am really excited about the wedding and it's gonna be a beautiful and special day, but it's kinda dumb to drop thousands of dollars for a mere 9 hours. So we're going to get married at Faith Church in Fenton and we're gonna make everyone drive 45 minutes to New Baden for the reception (where it will cost us nothing for the American Legion because my Gpa is a member there and the food will be under $2,000 instead of a regular $4,500 with a catering company). The drive alone will thin out the crowd, I'm sure. The ones that love us will make the drive no matter what. My step-dad is friends with a local DJ company and my mom is going to make the bouquets because she's Miss Crafty. The only things we have to worry about are my dress and accessories, photographer, decorations for the hall, invitations, the cake, and the donation for pastor. And some little odds and ends for the ceremony: candles, tulle for the chairs, and rose petals. All the big stuff that would cost a ton isn't gonna cost much at all.

I'm excited for some new purchases that I'll be making in the coming weeks. I'm keeping a lot of it on the DL until it actually happens. Let's just say I'm getting some new things for the first time. I'm friggin excited...to put it simply. :)

Anyway, this week went by soooo quickly. I am excited for the weekend because I get to spend it with Paul before he leaves me for a week. *Sigh*

Have a wonderful weekend.

Peace & Love.

Open your eyes to the signs from your Heavenly Father!

This cartoon made me laugh when I found it. How much easier would life be if God's signs were obvious like this one! But when it comes down to do it, life gets much easier when you open yourself up to receive those signs from God. Life only gets hard when you stray away from God's path and make your own way. The signs become more difficult to see when we are blinded by desires of the flesh and not the spirit.

God wants us to seek Him first. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

When God becomes the center of your entire life and you truly start living for His desires and not your own desires, you will begin to see how God's desires for you will become your desires for yourself. He knows you more than anyone because HE MADE YOU! He knows what you like and dislike. "God underscores His words to us by reminding us that He Himself made us. He knows His people (you) inside and out...the good, the bad and the ugly. He knows everything about you: your strengths and weaknesses, your gifts and talents, your history, your present and your future. He has created you uniquely special and He delights in you."-Rachel Anne Ridge

Now, I'm reminded of a story I read a long time ago at a retreat I attended at SLU:

Open Mind, Open Arms, Open Heart

"God, are you real?" the boy whispered.
"God, speak to me." But the boy did not hear.

So the boy yelled "God speak to me!" And the thunder rolled across the sky.
But the boy did not listen.

The boy looked around and said, "God, let me see you!"
And a star shone brightly.
But the boy did not notice.

So the boy shouted, "God, show me a miracle!"
And a life was born.
But the boy did not know.

So then the boy cried out in dispair, "God, touch me and let me know you are here!"
Whereupon God reached down and touched the boy.

But the boy brushed the butterfuly away and walked away unknowingly.

Take time to listen.

Often times, the things we seek are rightunderneath our noses.

Don't miss out on your blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

-Anonymous

Listen carefully to God's voice. He's speaking ot us daily in many different ways. Remember, God's ways are not our ways. And the way we think God will speak to us, may be entirely different from the way God chooses to speak to us. Always keep an open mind. If you would just take off those blinders and open yourself up to God's blessings, you would be blown away at how much God loves you! Life will become so much more fulfilling because you will be able to see God everywhere.

Now, I've been praying for a sign to figure out if I should move to LA or not. Thankfully I've allowed myself some time to truly listen to what God was trying to tell me instead of making any hasty decisions. Like I said before, LA was my total focus for over a year. It was all I talked about, thought about, read about, dreamt about...until now. I wake up thinking about God's blessings upon my life and I ask Him what I can do to spread His word and light today. Now, I haven't lost my passion for performing. I still adore acting, singing, and dancing, but those are things that I do, not who I am. Yes, I act, sing, dance, write, think, feel, laugh, cry, love, etc. but am I not any one of those things. They are the abilities that God has blessed me with and I will use them while I am here on this Earth to pursue my true purpose in life. And like I say all the time, I am constantly seeking to find that purpose. Instead of finding some huge, complicated idea, I've come to realize that everyone's purpose (if they are a believer) is to bring other's to God and live life in love because God=Love. I will use what He has given me to acheive that purpose. And I will take each precious day at a time to get there. Each step taken adds up to an amazing journey.

So, I'm not moving to LA for awhile, but that doesn't mean that I won't. I know I will because God has placed that desire in my heart. Just like He has placed the desire to be here in St. Louis for a little longer. I feel like He has so much more for me to do here first before I take the West Coast by storm! :) God is working some amazing things in my life right now and I can't wait to look back on it all and be so utterly glad that I stayed to bring life to these things!

*I want to start a mentor program (Big sister/Little sister and Big brother/Little brother kind of thing) with the youth at Faith Church St. Louis specifically dealing with relationship issues.
*I want to use my singing abilities with the Praise and Worship team at Faith Church St. Louis
*I want to use my acting abilities to help inspire the youth by discussing struggles that pertain to today's youth
*I want to strengthen my friendships with those that live here in St. Louis and learn to strengthen the friendships with those who live further away
*I want to strengthen my relationship with my family by spending more time with them

Yeah, so God is sending me some amazing opportunities to share His Love to His people and I am going to live for today.

And cue the theme song:

Live for Today by Natalie Grant
Sittin' in my room staring at the wall
Wonderin' about the meaning of it all
Why is it this thing called life
Has got me goin' crazy
So I open up your word and let it speak to me
The purpose and the plan that you've designed
Is clear to see, and I believe

(Chorus)
I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way

I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna live it for today

You told me not to worry
About what lies ahead
So I am gonna focus on today instead
Making every moment count and counting
Every single blessing
I'm gonna set my mind on the Here and the Now
This is what I want my life to be about
And this is How...

(Repeat Chorus)
Oh my oh so crazy life
Has got me spinnin around and 'round
Hangin' upside down
Takin one step at a time
Holding your hand all the way
And it'll be okay
I'm gonna live for today
Follow in your way
I will follow you



Amen!

Peace, Love, and Joy!