In the blink of an eye...

Things can change so quickly sometimes. One day you are perfectly content with the direction your life is headed, and then you catch a glimpse of something you though you understood, and then BAM...your life takes a sudden turn.

Decisions...changes...moving forward...

Seems to be a constant variable in my life...especially over the last few years. You'd think I would be used to it by now, but change is always uncomfortable no matter how often it happens to you.

Paul and I have been involved at Wrecked Ministries since September 2010, only 1 short month after we left Faith Church. We lost a lot of friends in that transition, but God is always faithful and helped us through it by bringing a different group of friends into our life. We found genuine friendships and family during a time of such change and transition for both of us. During our involvement at Wrecked, we searched for our new church home month after month, until a year had passed. We would stay for a few months at one then question if it was really where we were supposed to be. From September 2010 to September 2011, we had tried 3 different churches. So we always felt in transition as far as that area of our life was concerned, but we never lost sight of who we were in Christ or who Christ was to us. We pursued God intensely in the midst of limbo. I found my place as a prophetic worship leader and re-discovered my gift as a songwriter. I read through the entire Bible and fasted and prayed more than I ever had in my whole life. I had a new-found boldness at work to pray with co-workers and patients and even ministered to some homeless people here in South County. We were greatly impacting families when we traveled as a ministry and when people would come to our gatherings in Arnold at our building.

Even though we had a difficult time finding our church home, we never felt like we were totally lacking in our walk with God. Actually, it felt stronger than ever before!

But in August 2011, something shifted in the ministry. We felt burnt out and upset that no one had been coming for 3 or 4 months. We weren't traveling as much anymore and ultimately, we were just ministering to ourselves. After a team meeting, it seemed as if everyone was throwing in the towel. The foundation was crumbling, but after a weekend at The Ramp it seemed as if we were able to pull ourselves together. We came back refreshed. It looked like we got a second wind! We were faithfully there at every gathering even though only a few people were showing up. We were just keeping our eyes fixed on the Lord. But then some people from the team stopped coming regularly and then left the ministry altogether. Discouragement started to kick in, then judgement, then accusation, then a little bit of self-righteousness. We ignored the fact that there wasn't much love anymore. So month after month went by and we began to ultimately go through the motions. To get over the fact that no one was coming anymore, we focused on prayer. We were going to become a prayer culture. Sounds awesome, but in reality, we became a holy huddle not reaching out to the lost. Paul and I had been feeling uncomfortable about everything for a few months but couldn't find it in us to leave just yet. We had invested so much time and energy in this place! And on top of that, we had no church home at all. We felt trapped with very little hope of ever finding a place to raise our kids. Was this it? Were we even affecting the Kingdom for God? Were we even growing spiritually anymore? We were involved in a ministry that wasn't ministering to anyone. It just felt like we kept going around the same mountain with little progress.

But a month ago, things began to brighten up. We started attending a church in Arnold that a few friends went to. And after the first service, we knew this was it. We had found our church home! FINALLY! We were just so excited to be getting fed regularly and meeting new people. And this church has an amazing outreach ministry. They better because they are called CHURCH IN ACTION!

But what about Wrecked? It was starting to feel like an obligation to go at this point. Over the last few months, Paul and I have tried to stick it out, but this past week we decided to step down. It has been a long week.

I am just so glad that God is faithful to the end. Man's love will always disappoint, but God's love remains. It never fails. I am taking one step at a time with this new season, but I am excited to see what God is getting ready to do through us. Sometimes making a move in a new direction can scare the crap out of you, but if you just keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, He will help you walk out into the unknown.

Lord, help me walk out on the water with You. I want to be where You are. I want to be where You need me. Thank you for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for Your amazing love. I couldn't get through all of this change without You God.

"And I'm fixing my eyes on the One who's unchanging, cuz the One who's unchanging is forever changing me." ~Amber Brooks

Emily Update.

So, I've been blogging a little more recently and I'm starting to enjoy it again. 2011 was not the year for blogging for me, but I definitely became a more faithful journal writer. God definitely stretched me and molded me this past year and I am grateful to have that entire year documented in a notebook. :)

But I have decided to keep the ol' blog alive. In addition to By God's Grace, I have also picked up another writing endeavor at We are the Burning Ones... where I bring up topics regarding the Bible, sound teachings, and ministry life. I try to not to dive into too many personal things there, but I know that it is hard for me to separate my faith and beliefs anywhere I write or go for that matter.

Any hoo, after almost a month of the Daniel Fast (Jentzen Franklin's 21 day fast to get your edge back)...

My food intake for almost a month...

I have been working out pretty consistently for 2 weeks now. I lost about 10 lbs but I also lost a lot of muscle because of the lack of protein...doh! I have been running on a tread-mill, stretching, toning my arms with free-weights, and working on my abs with pilates. I feel great! I am excited to see the results in about a month. I think the best thing you can do to get consistent with working out is finding a schedule that works for you and stick with it. If you set time aside to do it, it will be easier to stay motivated since you have an allotted time slot for it.

Same goes for your prayer life also. If you set aside time where you know you won't be disturbed and you can get alone with the Lord, you will be eager to keep building that relationship with Him. You will notice a difference in your attitude and the way you treat people when you spend time with God. I notice such a peace and a joy when I spend time in the Lord's presence, whether talking to Him or just sitting in the quiet, candles lit, and waiting on Him. There is no other word to describe it then peaceful. And in the world that we live in today, we could use some of that kind of peace. The Bible calls it a "peace that passes all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).

So between those 2 things, I have been keeping myself pretty busy. Paulie has 2 jobs (he's my workin man) and about 3-4 days out of the week, we don't see each other up until he slips into bed with me. Sometimes I am awake enough to chat with him, other times I am just able to kiss

him goodnight when he comes home, and some times I am just conked out snoozing away. It has been hard, but nothing that we can't handle. We appreciate every moment that we can get and don't take any of it for grant it. Because of that, our marriage is so alive and strong.

Monday-Wednesday this week was the stretch of time where we only saw each other before bed, so tonight is special for us. He gets off at 5 and I couldn't be more excited! :) After I work out, I am gonna shower, and curl my hair for him and make him dinner. I love taking care of Paulie. He works so hard for us. I'm not too big on Valentine's Day because it makes it seem like that is the only day a couple should shower each other with love. I try to treat my husband like that all the time.

Me and my hubs a few weeks ago on one of our "off night, date nights" :)

Show love. Give love. Live love. Always.

Peace&Love.

Em

Love Never Fails

Choose love over criticism.
Choose love over judgement.
You once wandered in darkness,
So show compassion to those who have gone astray.
They need love to help light their path.
Love them back to restoration.
Help them with their love walk.
Help them walk in the light where I am found.
Fill yourself up with the Word.
The Word lights your path.
The Word is founded in Love.

If we are full of Love
nothing else can have room in our hearts.
Deception, sin, unbelief, hate, pride...
It cannot stay because there is no room for it.
Love conquers all of it.
Love never fails.

Time to spare...

Welp, today I find myself able to spend a little extra time blogging for a bit.

It's good to set time aside to just reflect. Not much of a blogger anymore, but from time to time I don't mind letting the world (whoever happens to read this anyway...) read my thoughts. Most of my writing goes into a hand-written journal or in my notebook of lyrics.

Speaking of my notebook of lyrics, I have been consistently writing songs for several months now. My songwriting has increased quite a lot since January though. When I was younger, I used to write short stories and poetry. In high school, the poetry continued as young love blossomed and eventually I began to put melodies to my words. I always seemed to pen my thoughts and emotions in a journal but it wasn't until a year or so ago that I stepped back into creative writing. I enjoy it so much!

My songs are inspired by scripture and just flow out from my intimate prayer times with the Lord. I sing to Him and write songs to Him and about Him. It is really cool when I get the opportunity to sing them with the band at Wrecked. I only do it for God's glory and if He opens the door to recording an album someday, that would just be a bonus. I never want to make something happen,I only want to walk in what He has called me to and in His timing.

I just want to live my life to please the Lord. Honestly, it is all about trusting God.

Here are few lyrics that I wrote earlier this week regarding that thought:

"Lord, please take control

Let Your will be done.

I can't do this on my own.

Please carry me...carry me."

"Jesus Your word is true

I put my trust in You

You hold my life in Your hands..."

May be this is what my blog can be about from now on...just songs that God drops down in my heart to share. I hope some of it blesses you.

Peace&Love.

Em